Love Left Behind
by breathbookslove
Summary: Serena and Nate were married. And had a daughter. Supposedly as in love and complete as possible. Until Nate woke up one morning and Serena was gone. Packed her clothes and everything that was hers in the house. With a simple note on her pillow. I'm sorry. Now 5 years later. It has been Nate and Suzie. He's erased her from his life. But has yet to get divorced.
1. Chapter 1

**Love Left Behind**

 **Chapter 1**

Waking up to the sound of waves crashing outside the door.

Nate got up and made his bed. Then went to the shower.

Sometime later getting out. Turning off the alarm that he had almost broken.

Getting out of his room. Smiling as he walked down the hallway.

Opening the door slowly. Walking over to the window opening the shade.

As the sun shined in brightly.

Illuminating the otherwise dark.

"Daddy!" A young girl yelled. Opening her eyes as she jumped up.

"Morning Suzie." Nate said.

Hugging his daughter tightly.

"Time for school."

"I'll be waiting for you downstairs."

Nate said.

As he walked out of her room.

Down the stairs.

Walking slowly looking at the pictures.

That littered the walls.

Once he was off the stairs he went into the kitchen.

And began to make breakfast for himself and his daughter.

Sometime later.

Suzie appeared with a smile on her face. As she walked down the steps.

And went to the kitchen sitting next to her dad.

Smiling as she told him about her field trip that was coming up and her excitement. Over her birthday she was going to 5. And didn't want to be treated like a baby.

Nate just smiled and shook his head.

She had been his light at the end of an endless tunnel.

And he was grateful every day for her.

While they finished up breakfast.

Nate hugged and kissed her goodbye.

Watching as she got on the bus.

As he was about to Go back inside their home.

Nate decided to quickly check the mail.

Looking through articles and magazines. Bills he had to pay.

There was a letter. From Serena. As always it would end up in the trash.

With the others. Sighing as he walked up his steps and got back into the house.

Dropping the letter into the garbage.

As much as he told himself it was over. His wedding ring from their wedding day.

Years earlier. Laid placed on his finger.

Right where she put it.

Holding his heart in her hands.

As she always did.

Walking back up the stairs into his room.

Hidden in his closet.

Behind old clothes.

Was their wedding picture.

Taking it out.

As he looked at it fondly.

"Love is a myth right S." Nate said quietly.

To the picture trying to remember the people and love that existed in this photo.

…


	2. Chapter 2

**Love. Left. Behind.**

 **Chapter 2**

 _Sometimes_ _you_ _never look back_ _, and_ _sometimes life forces_ _you to._

 _Flashback_

 _Rereading the note. For a second time. I tried to find more meaning some kind deeper understanding. Of what this all meant and why. Seeing her wedding ring in the place where her body should have been next to her note. Our daughter was only a few months old. Maybe she just needs a break. Time to figure out who she is in all of this. She'll be back. I know it._

 _In the meantime, I had a baby to take off and a life to keep building._

 _A year went by after endless calls that went unanswered and letters that got sent back because of no return address. I had come to the conclusion. That Serena didn't want to be found especially by me._

The first-time Suzie saw a picture of her mother. She was three. I was in the middle of my 3rd or 4th rereading of this bedtime story she couldn't get enough of.

She laid on the other side of me with her head on my shoulder.

Smiling and reacting to every word.

As she started to go to her room to get another story.

Because I had proved powerless to that face of hers. Blond hair blue eyes. And my smile and her mom's laugh and overall presence in any room. Even then she knew.

My heart was hers. But I had announced to her no more stories and that it was time for bedtime.

Being stubborn and claiming to need just one more story. She attempted to hide in the closet. And while I had my back turned.

She did just that and turned the knob hid in the closet turning on the light.

As she called out to me. "Daddy Look!" She said excitedly.

I opened the door. And took a look at what she had found.

The look on her face. Told me she saw something familiar.

Taking out the picture from the closet I sat it on the bed.

Afterwards lifting her up and seating her right beside me.

As she started to talk. looking up at me.

"Daddy that's you." "But who is this lady.?"

"We have the same eyes and hair.?" She asked curious.

Pausing as I looked at the picture.

Then back at my daughter.

Then started to speak.

"This woman is your mom."

"Which is part of the reason why you look alike."

I said.

Looking into her eyes.

The curiosity in her eyes deepened.

"But why isn't she here with us.?"

"Like aunt Blair is with Henry."

She asked me.

Searching for answers I couldn't give.

"She is away and sometimes grownups."

"Take long trips." "That last a long time."

"It doesn't mean they don't care about the people they left behind."

"It just means they need to be apart in order to grow and be the person they were supposed to be."

I said to her.

Hopeful that would silence her questions for now.

"What about the high tea with the mothers and daughters.?"

"I don't have a mommy it can't just be me.?" She said.

looking up at me.

With tears welling up in her eyes.

In that moment, my heart breaking. Pushing it away.

Bringing the focus back onto her.

"You are all set Suzy Q." "Aunt Blair is going to be there with you."

"The whole time and she said afterwards." "She planned some special girls only fun that I couldn't know about."

Hearing this bought a smile back to her face.

"She has the best surprises." She said happily.

"Now it is really time for bed."

I said.

Taking her hand.

As we walked out of my room and into the hallway.

Entering her bedroom.

As she climbed into bed.

And looked up at me.

Hugging her tight as I kissed her forehead.

"Goodnight my one and Suzie."

"I love you."

I said happily.

While I started to walk out of her room.

As she called out to me.

Causing me to turn my head back and look at her.

"If she loved you and me."

"How could she leave us behind.?" She asked.

As she turned herself over.

Pulling the covers over herself.

I walked out of the room.

Wiping my eyes.

"I don't know." I said quietly.

Walking back to my room.

…


	3. Chapter 3

**Love. Left. Behind.**

 **Chapter 3**

Current Time

Days later

 _You got nothing to regret_

 _I'd give all I have honey_

 _If you could stay like that._

 _Don't you ever grow up_

I wanted to shake her and yell at her. But most of all. Stop her. Sit her down and make her come to her senses. She finally had it all. A man who loved her. A beautiful child. Her career was flourishing. To see Nate breakdown like he did all those years ago. After I had insisted the two of them spend the night.

After some attempts of bringing it up. And him changing the subject.

He at last let me in. He told me it was a minute by minute situation.

From the minute, he woke up to whenever he went to bed. His day and life consisted of Suzie. Wanting to give her as much normalcy and a sense of stability as he could. But he worried when he got those rare moments of silence.

If all of his efforts would be enough.

To ensure that Suzie would be whole as a person and the woman she would someday be.

Eventually learning the truth when he felt like she could handle it.

Her mom wasn't gone. She left. All on her own. Knowing that this news would crush the hope I'm sure her young and pure heart held that she would someday see her mom again.

Nate made the decision to block any inkling of contact he received from Serena.

The letters to start with. The calls came next.

He would pick up and answer then the other person would hang up.

This happened for days then weeks.

Until Nate knew he had to change his number.

Afterwards. Things were quiet.

Which gave me some relief for them both.

That is until Nate told me about the most recent letter.

He had received in the mail. Addressed to him.

He had thrown it out and I haven't heard anything else about contact.

So, I'm hopeful that's the end.

And they can continue their life together in peace.

Blair thought to herself.

As she put a smile on her face. Getting back to the conversation.

That Suzie had been in with her. While they got their toes and nails done.

Afterward they would get lunch.

Blair loved spending time with her niece. And knowing Nate got the chance to have some time to himself.

Which didn't happen as much as it should of.

Blair asked Suzie about the field trip she had taken. Which caused her to laugh until she cried. She would protect this little girl at all costs.

Taking this opportunity to clean up and watch TV.

While he and Chuck talked, and ate take out.

"You know if you want I could have the papers drawn up for you really quickly and then you could officially move on."

"Find someone worthy of you and Suzie." Chuck said.

looking to Nate.

"I appreciate you're want to help and concern."

"But Suzie and I are fine just the two of us."

Nate said to him in response.

"No you're not." "Serena abandoned you and your infant daughter."

"Without any real reason or excuse but that pathetic note."

"Yet you still find some way to defend her and be loyal to her."

"Wearing your wedding ring like she's going to come back."

"And you two will just pick up where you left off."

"You are stuck and that is far from fair."

"You are too good of a person to go through the rest of your life alone."

"Chuck said looking to him.

"You don't understand!" Nate said to him.

"She wasn't just some woman I barely knew or was dating for a few months."

"She's was my wife. If I give up on her like everyone else."

"What would that say about me and my faith in our love and trust in our relationship." "I believed in her and loved her." "That doesn't just disappear with time." Nate said. back to him.

"Everyone who knows you and loves you."

"Would understand and actually encourage you to let her go."

"Because what you're doing now is not living."

"And if I can tell that then anyone else who truly takes the time to look into your eyes and talk to you will see it too." Chuck said to him.

Not being able to think of anything else to say in defense.

Nate looked to Chuck.

Took a breath.

Then started to speak.

"You should go."

"I think we need a break."

"Spending so much time together."

"I know you mean well."

"But I can't keep having to find a way to justify my feelings."

"To people who are supposed to be my friends."

Nate said as he got up. And headed for the door.

"Nate I'm sorry."

"I just want you to be happy."

"And we are friends."

"You're my best friend."

"Do you think it was easy for me."

"To see you like this and say all of this."

"But it needed to be said."

"I'll give you your space."

"Let me know if you need me for anything."

Chuck said to him.

As he walked out.

Nate closing the door behind him.

Hours later

"Have fun Suzie."

"Behave and make sure you thank aunt Blair for letting you spend the night."

"I love you too. Suzie." Goodnight.

Smiling as he got up and went downstairs.

Checking to make sure everything was off before he went to bed.

It seemed quiet and peaceful. Just like he liked it.

Aside from the thunder and lightning outside.

Just as he was walking back up the stairs.

The raindrops hard and fast pelting the windows and doors.

He heard an instant knocking.

With it being so late and storming out.

He almost ignored it.

But the person seemed in desperate need.

As he slowly opened his front door.

He almost forgot how to speak.

His heart sunk.

As he locked eyes with the other person.

On the other side of the door.

Rain pouring down.

Head covered as hair poked out from underneath the hood.

Eyes tired. But with that glint of remembrance.

The sight making his chest hurt.

Feeling the need to look away.

But not being able to.

Breaking the silence between them.

A voice spoke.

"Nate." She said speaking slowly.

"Serena." He said softly.

Almost in disbelief of her appearance.

In front of him.

….


	4. Chapter 4

**Love. Left. Behind.**

 **Chapter 4**

 _In the arms, you said._

 _You'd never leave._

 _Flashback_

 _Touching his face with her hand._

 _As he slept. Trying to remember their moments together._

 _The night before. Taking a breath. Having already finished the note._

 _Days earlier. Getting up as she quietly got out of bed._

 _Heading out their bedroom. Into the hallway._

 _And entered their infant daughter's nursery._

 _Enjoying the few moments of silence. Simply watching her sleep._

 _Then Serena picked her up. Holding the baby in her arms carefully._

 _As she started to speak._

" _My beautiful Suzie Q." "Mommy loves you with her whole heart."_

" _You be a good girl for daddy." "When mommy gets home."_

" _Everything will be okay again." Serena told her._

 _Kissing her cheek. Carefully placing her back in her crib._

 _Taking a one single glance back. Serena walked out of the room._

 _And down the stairs. Her steps small and light._

 _Once she opened the front door. And got outside._

 _Closing the front door behind her._

 _She went into her car. And started it._

 _Taking a breath. Once she started to drive._

 _This ends today. Serena thought to herself._

 _As she drove away._

"Can I come in.?" She asked.

Unable to honestly describe what she felt.

She had pushed her feelings and thoughts.

Out of her mind for so long.

She wanted and needed to explain.

If only he would give her the chance to.

Looking at her now.

Her barely recognized her.

Aside from her face. And that glimmer in her eyes.

When they first locked eyes.

"Honestly I would have said no."

"But it's pouring out here."

"So come inside."

Nate said as he opened his door to her.

Allowing her to walk inside.

As he walked in after her.

Closing the door behind them.

Turning on the light.

Giving each person a better look at the other.

While Nate began to speak.

"What exactly do you want.?" "It's been years Serena."

He said emotionally exhausted.

"Nate listen me please."

Serena said to him.

Pausing as she looked around.

Her legs feeling weak underneath her.

Tears welling up in her eyes.

While she carefully turned toward the steps.

Slowly walking up.

Taking long glances.

At the pictures on the wall.

Touching it with her hand.

Catching a quick look at a picture of Suzie.

Emotion thick in her voice.

As she turned around walking back to face him.

"How old is Suzie now.?" Serena asked him.

"She's going to be 5 in a matter of days."

Nate said surprised.

That she seemed to not know how much time had passed.

"Can I see her.?" "Nate please it's been so long."

"She probably doesn't even remember me."

Serena said looking away as she wiped her eyes.

"No you can't and won't."

"You act like I'm just supposed to welcome you with open arms."

"After you walk out on your family."

"And over time send these random letters and make calls that you never answer."

"The reason you don't know Suzie is on you for leaving."

"You left that day."

"Never looking back and thinking about either of us."

"And me and you are a separate situation."

"Suzie was just a baby she was your daughter."

"How were you able to just disconnect knowing you would be missing so much of her life.?"

"I should have suspected that." "You never wanted to be a mother anyway."

"When you found out about the pregnancy I had to talk you into keeping her."

Nate yelled at her.

"That is completely unfair!" "You know what my parents are like."

"I was terrified of becoming just like them."

"But once I heard saw her and heard the heartbeat."

"I fell in love with her."

"Yes it wasn't instant like it was for you."

"But I loved her." "And I love her even more now."

"She is half of reason I'm here today."

"And then there is you to."

Serena said.

as her voice broke.

Pausing as she attempted to collect her emotions.

"Nate I love you."

"I never stopped loving you."

"I missed you and our life together."

"Every single day."

"I wanted nothing more than to come home to you."

Serena said wiping her eyes.

Unable to stop her tears.

"Stop it don't do that."

"You can't make me feel bad for you."

"You shattered my belief in love and trust and this entire life we had."

"Why shouldn't I just tell you to leave and never come back."

"We are living a full life without you."

"You are not wanted or needed here."

"Here."

Nate said taking off his wedding ring.

Placing it in her hand.

"You don't mean that."

Serena said.

Overcome with emotion.

"Yes I do."

Nate said to her.

"Nate I would of come back if I could."

"This wasn't my choice."

Serena said.

Her voice shaking.

"How can you say that with a straight face.?"

Nate asked her.

"Because it is the truth."

"I was kidnapped." She said.

As she looked into his eyes.

The room becoming quiet.

…


	5. Chapter 5

**Love. Left. Behind.**

 **Chapter 5**

" _We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light."_

Attempting to absorb the words Serena had just told him.

As he takes a breath. Closing his eyes. Reopening them.

While he took a seat on the bottom step of the staircase.

Looking at him. Wiping her eyes as she finds the strength to speak again.

"If you don't believe me." "Take a look at me for yourself."

Serena said.

As she began to take off her coat.

Laying it on the floor beside her.

It when then he could see the truth.

And there was no denying it.

Her neck and her arms.

Were covered with bruises and the clothing she had on was dirty.

Literally caked with dirt.

He hadn't realized it then. When she walked in.

She had no shoes. Her body was rail thin and her hair stringy as if it hadn't been washed in a long time.

Her face had dried tear streaks and dirt.

Taking her hand carefully.

He walked up the stairs with her.

Opening the front door.

To his bedroom.

Looked her in the eyes as he began to speak.

"Would you like you to take a shower.?"

"I could lay out some clothes for you."

"And get you some food."

"We could talk afterwards."

Nate said.

In shock of the shell of the woman he had loved.

Standing in front of him.

"Yes I would really appreciate that." "Thank you."

Serena said.

looking at him. Putting her hand on his shoulder.

While he began to walk out of the room.

Closing the door behind him.

Walking down the stairs. Two steps at a time.

Until reaching the living room.

His hands shaking as he took out his phone.

Taking a breath.

He ordered two pizzas and a side or two.

Asking them to put a rush on it.

Sitting down on the couch in the living room.

His eyes glancing to his bare ring finger.

Looking back as he looked at the stairs.

"She loved us after all." Nate said to himself.

Laying his head back. Letting those words. Find their place.

Upstairs

Getting out of the shower slowly.

She quickly wrapped a towel around herself and left the bathroom.

The last thing she needed was to know what she looked like.

The last time she really saw herself was 5 years ago.

As she was leaving this house.

Turning out that light.

Walking slowly into the bedroom.

Looking at what he had laid out for her.

A dark green sweater.

And black sweatpants.

She smiled small.

Putting them on.

Piece by piece.

Wrapped her arms around herself.

Breathing in the scent.

These were his clothes.

The minute she walked down there.

He would make it seem like he didn't notice.

Putting her arms to the side.

As she began making her way out of the bedroom.

Down the stairs and into the living room.

Taking a seat. On the opposite chair.

At the sound of footsteps.

Nate got up. Looking at her.

Unsure of where to begin.

"The pizza should be here in a few minutes."

He said to her.

"Good it has been awhile."

"Since I've had New York pizza."

"I'm in no mood to polite."

"Forget the knife and fork."

"I'm going to eat to it with my hands."

She said. Smiling.

As she looked at him.

"Glad to hear it."

"I'll make sure to get plenty of napkins."

"You always end up with sauce and toppings everywhere."

Nate said. Smiling back at her.

Taking a breath as he spoke again.

"The clothes do they fit okay.?"

"Should I of gave you something else.?"

Nate said panic rising in his voice.

Looking at him.

While she put her hand on his.

As she started to speak.

"It's okay Nate."

"They are comfortable and warm."

"That is all I was hopeful for."

Serena said to him in response.

"I'm just I don't understand."

"And I'm sorry."

Nate said looking up at her.

"How could you have known."

"Who did this to you.?"

Nate asked calmly.

But inside he feared the answer.

Serena's facial expression changed.

Her eyes darkening.

"Hey I need you to talk to me."

Nate said softly.

Serena began to look away.

Tapping her fingers. Over and over.

On the arm of the chair.

She was sitting in.

Tears welling up in her eyes.

As she began to speak.

"It was supposed to be me ending things."

"Instead he had his own plans in mind."

"He waited for me."

"Three knocks I opened the door."

"He walked me inside."

"Offered me a drink or food."

"I declined."

Feeling this thick uncomfortable energy coming from him.

I just needed him to stop.

"And to leave me alone."

"But he said.

"You know after everything our relationship cost him."

"I should be thanking him."

"For caring about what I'm up to."

"The letters and phone calls."

"Was never me."

"He did that to mess with you more."

"The only time I existed to him."

"Was when he wanted to put his hands on me."

"Or make it seem like it was over."

"Giving me keys to unlock doors that never opened."

"I was completely at his mercy."

"Wants, needs, fantasies,"

She said.

Blinking away tears.

"His name is Ben Donovan."

"At last there was nothing in his way."

"I was finally his for the taking."

"And he took and took."

"Until the only relief I got was when I was too exhausted to move."

"And blacked out."

"Which was how I spent almost every night."

"That is until he got bored of that."

"Then I knew what it meant."

"To live in fear."

Serena said.

Her gaze distant.

It was as if she was back there.

Her voice lacking emotion.

Nate put his hand on hers.

Causing her to break out of her trance.

Turning to face him.

Her eyes wild.

"Who are you.?"

"And why are you touching me.?"

She asked him.

Fear stricken in every word.

As she pulled away.

…


	6. Chapter 6

**Love. Left. Behind.**

 **Chapter 6**

" _Sometimes, remembering hurts too much."_

Pulling his hand away. From hers trying not to add to the intense feelings.

Being experienced in the room.

He tried to look at her again.

But she wouldn't look in his direction.

"Don't touch me!"

"Leave me alone!"

"Stop you're hurting me!"

Serena said.

Closing her eyes.

Wrapping her arms around herself.

She attempted to wipe her tears.

But with every attempt they came faster.

Until she just sat there.

Her head laid on the arm of the chair.

Silent. Until she heard Nate's voice again.

Slowly getting up. As she looked at him.

Cautious while he spoke sitting a chair away.

Looking back at her.

"It's been hours."

"You should try and get some sleep."

"I doubt laying on that chair for this long has been comfortable."

"A room would be better." "Shut out the noise."

"And makes you feel safe and comfortable."

"I'm talking too much."

"Why am I so nervous and feel so like I'm intruding.?"

Nate thought to himself.

As he waited for her to respond.

After a few minutes of silence.

She spoke again.

"I appreciate you being so kind and caring."

"But you don't owe me anything."

"I can sleep in the spare room."

"I don't want to be in the way."

"And I'll figure out what happens next tomorrow."

Serena said.

looking up at him.

"You're not in the way."

"This is your home and family too."

Nate said in response to her.

"In memory and on paper."

"Me existing in this life hasn't been a reality."

"In a long time."

"I wouldn't and don't expect you to stop."

"The way you've been living without me."

"Just because I've reappeared."

Serena said.

Taking a breath.

"I'm going to go to the guest room."

"And honestly thank you for not leaving me out there."

"In the rain tonight."

"Goodnight Nate."

Serena said to him.

While Nate watched her. Walk away.

Into the other room.

Closing the door behind her gently.

Trying to wrap his mind around the unexpected events of tonight.

Beginning the walk to his room.

Taking his time.

Until his bedroom door was in front of him.

Opening it as he went through it.

Closing the door behind him.

Laying down getting under the covers.

"She's home." Nate said quietly.

In the darkness and privacy of his room.

Wiping away tears that were falling from his eyes.

…

 **Author's Note: Continue with your thoughts, suggestions, ideas, predictions.**

 **Leave it in the reviews.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Love. Left. Behind.**

 **Chapter 7**

" _[Kids] don't remember what you try to teach them. They remember what you are."_

In the morning

"So how was aunt Blair's.?" Nate asked curious. As he was in the kitchen packing her lunch. Before school that day.

While she looked up at him. With her hair in French braids. And her smile wide.

"It was so fun daddy!" Suzie said back to him.

Excitement gleaming from her face.

"Aunt Blair did my hair and we watched movies and ate snacks."

"And played dress up." "Then later I played with Henry."

She said happily.

"Sounds like you had a really nice time."

Nate said smiling back at her.

"I did." "Only two more days left."

"Until my birthday." Suzie said her voice full of excitement.

"I know it was one of the most important and memorable days."

"Of my life." "You were handed to me and I was changed forever."

Nate said looking at her.

"Daddy come on we have to get to school."

"My boyfriend said he's going to bring me a cupcake on my birthday."

"And between now and then we're going to share snacks at snacktime."

"And sit next to each other."

She said happily.

While she took her lunch box off the table.

"Hold on a minute here."

"You are not allowed to have a boyfriend or date."

"Until your as old as I am." "Maybe longer than that."

"Who are these boy's parents.?" Nate asked. Looking back at her.

"They are Mr. and Mrs. Humphrey."

Suzie said looking up at her father.

"Learn a lot and enjoy your day Suzy Q."

"I love you."

Nate said to her.

"I love you too daddy."

Suzie said waving goodbye as she walked out the door.

Sometime Later

Serena walked out of the guest room.

Smiling at him and she walked into the living room.

"She has a boyfriend.?" Serena said as she faced him.

"According to what I heard this morning."

"I will be building something large and threatening."

"I am not ready for this yet."

"She's my baby." Nate said.

"I know but someday she'll be a teenager and well you remember how we were." Serena said looking to him.

"We can't try and stop her from growing up."

"But we can make sure she grows up to be."

"Strong, impendent, thinks for herself, a kind heart."

"A young woman that has respect for herself and her body along with others." Serena said. Putting her hand on his.

"Or we can by a castle and move into woods and live off the grid."

Nate said in response.

Smiling at him as she responded.

"Or that too." She said back.

"You could have come in and we could of introduced you to her."

Nate said as he looked back at her.

"I thought about it."

"But I'm not in the most healthy and clear mind space right now."

"I want to meet her." "I just want to be strong and able to really be a part of her life once I do."

"I want her to see me as someone she can talk to, depend on and love."

Serena said looking back at him.

"You have nothing to worry about."

"She will love you."

Nate said to her.

"Or she'll see me as the woman to involved in her own her life to care about her." Serena said back to him.

"Serena i understand why you feel that way."

"But you weren't away by choice."

"And I think when you're ready."

"You should talk to someone about what happened."

Nate said to her.

"No I can't because they are going to want to know where he is and then I have to be honest."

Serena said as she walked back into the bedroom.

Closing it behind her.

…

 **Author's Note : comments, thoughts, ideas as to what happened to Serena's capturer.?" "Thoughts on Nate and Serena and Suzie and her boyfriend.?**

 **Leave it in the reviews. Serena and Suzie will meet later on in the chapters.**

 **It will be emotional. Prepare for it**

…


	8. Chapter 8

**Love. Left. Behind.**

 **Chapter 8**

" _It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone."_

Minutes later.

Serena comes back out of the room.

And walks next to where Nate is.

While Nate is putting back the remainder of items.

He used for Suzie's lunch away for another time.

"We should talk." Serena said facing him.

Having heard what, she said. Nate quickened his pace.

Then followed her over to the couch.

Where she sat a chair apart from him.

Turning in her direction as she started to speak.

"I love you." "And I loved this life together."

"But I can't and won't allow us to get any closer."

"That would be unfair of me and wrong."

"Especially the amount of time you wasted already."

Serena said. Looking him in the eyes.

"It was not a waste of time you are my wife."

"I would of waited the rest of my life if I had to."

"Until I found the answers I needed to know."

"Now that I know the truth."

"We can take things one step at a time."

"This entire thing is a process."

"You have to get adjusted to this new life."

"And reintroduce yourself and the people who care about you."

"To who you are today."

"Hopefully with the added support from some therapy."

"Alone for yourself." "Later on to work on the two of us as a couple."

"And this new dynamic we have going on."

"How to balance it with our marriage."

"As well as family therapy with us and Suzie."

"That would truly benefit us in the long run."

"It sounds like a lot of work and it will be challenging and difficult to open up and talk about all of these feelings and memories."

"But we will get through it."

"I'm here for you in any way I can be."

"I see a future for us."

"Where things are different we are happy and whole again."

"Just tell me when you're ready.?"

Nate said to her.

"Everything you just said sounds so promising."

"And seems like it would work."

"But what I need is for you to move on."

"I'm going to get papers drawn up."

"Then in a matter of months it can be like."

"This never existed."

Serena said tears welling up in her eyes.

While she looked around.

Pausing as she looked in his eyes again.

"You have held us together alone."

"For far too long."

"Now I'm setting you free."

Serena said wiping her eyes.

"You don't think I've been given attempts to move on by now."

"I have had multiple times." "But it never goes anywhere."

"Because I love you."

"I'm in love with you."

"You mean everything to me."

Nate said looking into her eyes.

Taking a breath as tears welled up in her eyes.

Absorbing his words.

"I have hung onto the hope of hearing those words from you."

"But now that I have I know I should stayed away."

"Found somewhere else to go and just left you both alone."

"I wanted to see you again."

"Make sure you knew the truth and why I was gone."

"And to create some real connection with Suzie."

"You can't love me anymore."

"I've only ever caused you pain."

"And that is only going to continue the longer I'm around."

Serena said to him.

Nate looked at her trying to understand what she meant.

"That is the farthest from the truth and you know it."

"We wanted and needed you back."

"It will always be that way."

"You belong here with us."

Nate said to her.

"I'm not staying here anymore."

"The longer I'm here."

"The more attached both of you will become."

Serena said.

"Why do you feel like you don't belong here.?"

"And that me loving you is putting myself at risk.?"

Nate asked her urgent for answers.

"Because of what I did."

Serena said to him.

As she attempted to walk away.

Instead Nate took her hand in his turning her around.

So they were face to face.

"What did you do.?"

Nate asked her.

"No more questions."

Serena said.

Trying to take her hand from his grasp.

"Serena before it wasn't your decision."

"But now this time it is."

"There has to be a reason that you would willingly walk away."

"From us and everything."

Nate said.

Not letting her go.

"Ben Donovan is dead."

"Because I killed him."

She said facing him again.

…


	9. Chapter 9

**Love. Left. Behind.**

 **Chapter 9**

" _Children are sacred beings."_

Days Later

Looking around at the decorations and outdoor seating.

He couldn't wait until Suzie got to look at everything.

There was a mixture of the colors pink, purple, and green.

Which were Suzie's favorite colors. The table inside was decorated with pictures.

Of Suzie with her family and friends. Music played all throughout the house.

While food was being catered.

The room was filled with kids. Suzie had said she wanted to invite as many people as we could fit. She didn't want any kid to feel left out.

I was more happy and proud of her. For thinking that way.

And made sure to do just what she asked.

Which lead to today. Kids talking and laughing.

Having as much fun as they could be.

Suzie was dancing and truly enjoying her party.

After talking with Serena. We decided.

To tell Suzie about Serena being her mother after the party was over.

Serena has spent the last few days creating a present for Suzie to give to her.

I had no what she was making and couldn't wait for the reveal.

Serena also made the choice to begin therapy.

She would be starting in a few days. And I couldn't be more relieved for her.

She needed to sort through everything that happened with someone.

Who would be able to offer her the help she needed. And truly begin.

Her journey in healing.

I will continue to support her in every way possible.

My business is expanding. And I have been thinking about.

Where I see, things going next.

This decision has been one that I've been thinking about.

For months. And now I know that is the right thing to do.

I've never been more sure of anything then I am of this.

Gathering around the table.

The lights lowered. The talk and laughter quieted.

As the cake was brought out.

Candles lighting up the dark room.

Suzie is the center of the table.

In front of the cake.

Looking around as everyone sang.

Happy birthday to her.

A few minutes later.

The singing stopped.

And Suzie closed her eyes.

Blowing out her candles.

Smiling wide.

As she heard claps and cheers.

The lights turning back on.

While the cake was cut and pieces were served.

Awhile later.

Gifts began being given out.

One by one. Suzie took the gifts and cards.

That came with it.

Hugging each person.

That had given it to her.

Until there was one gift left.

The guests now gone.

Serena taking a breath.

As she walked out back into the living room.

With her hand in Nate's.

The two sitting down.

Next to each other.

As Nate called out to Suzie.

Who had gone in her bedroom.

And started looking over her presents.

At the sound of hearing her dad's voice.

She walked out of the room. Quickly.

Slowly down once she saw that he wasn't alone.

"Walking over to him.

Her eyes curious looking over the woman.

That was sitting next to her father.

Realizing she was familiar. But she couldn't place it.

Sitting in the empty chair. Next to the two adults.

Nate looked at her. Then looked back at Serena and began to speak.

"This woman is the same person I told you about years ago."

"There is a complicated and long story that goes a long with it."

"But for now all you need to know."

"Is that one thing."

Nate said.

Turning to Serena as she started to speak.

Tears welling up in her eyes.

As she locked eyes with Suzie.

"I'm your mom." Serena said. Softly.

Suzie looked up at her with surprise in her eyes.

Walking over and standing in front of her.

So, they were face to face.

"You came back."

"You remembered us and you do love us.'

Suzie said.

Touching her mom's face with her hand.

As she wrapped her tiny arms around her.

Holding on tightly to her.

Serena overcome with emotion.

Tears running her face.

While she spoke slowly.

"I love you."

"There has not been a day and a minute that has gone by."

"That I ever stopped loving you."

She said.

Closing her eyes.

Reopening them. To realize that Nate never left her side.

He just sat there quietly.

The beauty of the moment sink in.

…


	10. Chapter 10

**Love. Left. Behind.**

 **Chapter 10**

" _In a child's eyes, a mother is a goddess. She can be glorious or terrible, benevolent or filled with wrath, but she commands love either way. I am convinced that this is the greatest power in the universe."_

As the two pulled apart. Serena wiped her eyes. With her hand.

While Suzie started to walk near her presents.

Taking the remaining gift in her hand. And putting it in her lap.

Looking back up at her mother as she started to speak.

"Is this from you.?" The young girl asked. Curiosity peaking in her voice.

Finding her voice again as she spoke.

"Yes, it is I've been working a few hours a day on it."

"Wanting to make it as meaningful as I could."

Serena said.

As she watched Suzie open it.

Revealing a cover.

With a title that read.

Mommy. Daddy. On the top.

Then on the bottom it read.

Suzie.

Excited Suzie opened the book.

And turned the page.

The writing on this page said.

 _Dedicated to_

 _Our daughter whose is a combination of the best parts of her parents._

 _And who taught us what it meant to love and sacrifice and trust. Without needing anything else in the world but the privilege of watching her grow._

Smiling as Suzie turned the page.

And read chapter title for herself.

 _Once a upon a time_

 _On the upper side._

Hours later. As Suzie was being tucked in for bed.

She hugged her dad. And leaned over and hugged her mom as well.

Taking her hand. Before she walked out of the room.

So, they're eyes locked as she spoke slowly.

"Are you going to be here in the morning.?"

Suzie asked. A mix of hope and fear displayed in her eyes and on her face.

"Of course." "I'm not going anywhere ever again."

Serena said as she kissed her daughter's cheek.

Smiling as she laid back down.

Serena turning out the nights.

As she left the room.

Taking a breath.

While she began to walk downstairs.

Her eyes focused on Nate's.

"It went really well."

"She took to you right away."

"See you had nothing to worry about."

Nate said.

Looking to her.

Looking back at him.

Serena spoke.

"She needs to trust that I'm not going to take off again."

"I need to reassure her that I'm home now."

"And that goes for you as well."

She said looking into his eyes.

"You don't need to prioritize me into things."

"You have yourself and Suzie to focus on."

Nate said to her.

Walking away from him as she headed into the guest room.

Minutes later reappearing with something in her hands.

As she took his hand. And looked up at him.

Placing his wedding back on his finger.

"Can you get mine.?" Serena asked him.

Looking him in the eyes. as he went into the bedroom taking out her ring. He had hidden.

Facing her again.

While he took her hand, and placed her ring back on her finger.

Letting it go.

As she linked her fingers with his.

Following her lead. Serena gently opened the bedroom door.

Closing it behind them.

Not taking her eyes off Nate.

As she spoke.

"I want to remember what it means to be close with you."

"But I'm scared that he's always going to be what I picture."

"And feel."

"What should be beautiful and bring us back to normal."

"Is just tainted for me like a ghost that haunts me."

"At every turn."

"What if I can't ever be intimate be vunerable and open and willing to be seen that way again."

"The simple thought of being completely exposed."

"Emotionally or physically just makes me feel sick."

"What kind of life is that for you.?"

"Never being fulfilled in either way for the rest of your life."

"Is that what you really want.?" Serena asked him.

"You are my priority."

"I want to do whatever makes you feel comfortable."

"And safe in this house and this room."

"Even if it means nothing at all."

Nate said to her.

"I can't accept that you putting aside your wants and needs."

"For me just because I'm broken now."

Serena said tears welling up in her eyes.

"Look at me." Nate said touching her face.

"I love you and there is more than one way to show that."

Nate said caressing her face with his hand.

…


	11. Chapter 11

**Love. Left. Behind.**

 **Chapter 11**

 _Weeks later_

" _There are many ways of getting strong, sometimes talking is the best way."_

I have been sitting here for about 10 minutes now.

As I turn to the woman sitting across from me.

This office feels and seems so much more like a living room.

There is a sense of comfort. And openness you feel.

As soon as you walk in. Taking a breath. I appreciate her.

Not pushing me to speak.

I will gain from being here if I don't talk.

I open my mouth and words fall out.

"I have a husband and a daughter."

"That I've been getting reacquainted with because I've been gone."

"For a long time."

Serena said to her.

"I'm sure they are happy to have you back in their lives."

The woman says.

"The last time I saw my daughter she was a couple of months old."

"Now she's 5."

"It was shell shocking to learn that I missed so much time."

"With her and out on life and my marriage with my husband."

Serena said. Looking away.

"Well mistakes are a part of life and hopefully if they can forgive you."

"In time hopefully with help from me."

"You can learn to forgive yourself to."

The woman said in response.

"Why were you away for so long.?" She asks cautiously.

As she began writing in her notes again.

Serena closed her eyes.

Took a breath.

Reopening them.

Then spoke slowly.

"I wasn't away by choice."

"I was kidnapped."

"I was able to escape."

Serena said quickly.

As if saying it out loud would somehow make it all.

Disappear.

"Wow I can't imagine how horrible and traumatic that was for you."

"The therapist said. Looking to her.

"It was horrible and may look okay physically."

"But emotionally and mentally."

"I am just a disaster."

Serena said wiping her eyes.

"That is what I'm here for."

"To help you figure out ways to cope with everything you've been through."

"So you can come out the other side stronger, healthier and whole."

"As a woman, wife and mother."

"It's okay to let yourself be vulnerable and fall apart."

"To heal we have to be honest and raw and show parts of ourselves."

"That would otherwise be hidden."

The therapist says.

"I feel like I'm going to lose my husband."

"It may not happen right away."

"But overtime."

"Eventually he will tire of always putting me first and seek comfort in the arms of someone else who can give him what he needs and desires."

Serena confesses.

"From what you've told me he loves you."

"And waited all those years for you."

"Had the opportunity to have someone else but declined."

"Trust in him and your love for each other."

The therapist said. As they continued the session.

…


	12. Chapter 12

**Love. Left. Behind.**

 **Chapter 12**

" _You can want and want and want, but if he doesn't want you back ... you might as well wish the sky were red."_

 _Weeks Later_

As I snuck another glance at him. Over the table.

Trying to let that feeling of his arms wrapped around mine.

Last a little longer. I smile and am thankful that my parents decided to choose this weekend to take Henry with them to the cabin for some fun.

Nate and I have grown so much closer. In these past few years.

Between Chuck and I getting divorced 2 years ago and the whole Serena situation.

We have these dinners once a week. And have the best time together.

"As I take another drink." Smiling at him.

Attempting to rejoin the conversation.

"So you think it's a good idea then.?" He asks me.

Looking into my eyes.

"Yea it's great."

"You would be free to watch Suzie then.?"

He asks me. As my eyes focus on his lips.

"Of course you know I love that little girl like she was my own."

I say putting my hand on my heart.

"I know I've taken over the conversation."

"No more kid talk."

He says smiling at me.

"He has no idea how badly I want to."

"Tear that shirt he's wearing right off."

"I mean seriously how can I focus on anything else."

Blair thinks to herself.

As she takes a drink from her glass.

"You owe me a tour of this place."

I said looking back at her.

"I mean if you're not up for it."

"We could just hang out down here and watch a movie or some TV."

"I'm going to have to go anyway soon."

"It's getting late and the babysitter has to get home."

Nate said.

Smiling at him. While she spoke.

"No way you're not getting away from me that easy."

"Come on Nate." Blair said Taking his hand.

While the two walked up the stairs.

"Chuck you know I'm okay."

"You don't have to keep looking at me like that."

Serena said to him.

Putting her hand on his.

"I appreciate your concern and discretion."

Serena said smiling at him.

"It's no problem sis."

"That animal had it coming he's lucky he's dead."

"All I have to say." Chuck said shaking his head.

"On a lighter note you want her back."

"I've always known the two of you."

"Belonged together."

Serena said looking at him as she finished her meal.

"We made mistakes."

"Me being distant from her and our marriage."

"Consumed in my work."

"I left her emotionally available for someone else."

"But I'm not going to give up on her or us."

Chuck confessed.

"Good it's nice to see true love lasting for one of us."

Serena said.

As she finished her drink. Pouring herself another.

"Don't worry it takes more than two drinks for me to do any damage."

"Plus I took a cab."

Serena said.

Sipping her new drink.

Putting her glass down.

While Chuck began to talk.

"Want to talk about it.?"

Chuck said looking at her.

"No I just want to finish this."

"Watch the rest of that movie and go home."

Serena said looking at him.

"Okay we'll do that."

Chuck said as they sat down together side by side.

While Chuck pressed play.

"You outdid yourself Blair."

"This house is a true vision."

Nate said to her.

"Thank you."

"I remember when I thought Chuck and I would spend our life here."

"Why am talking about him.?"

Blair said shaking her head.

"You miss him you can admit it."

"I get it but you should give him another chance."

"I know you two still love each other."

Nate said to her.

"When has that ever been enough.?"

Blair said looking at him.

"We used to love each other to remember.?"

She said looking back at him.

"We did but that was different."

Nate said to her.

"It was real." "Things just didn't line up for us."

Blair said.

"But we're friends and that is everything to me."

Nate said to her.

"Yea friends." Blair said looking at him.

"Come on B." "Let's finish the end of that show."

Nate said to her taking her hand as they walked down the steps.

Hours later

Nate walks through his front door.

Checks in on Suzy who is fast asleep and looks in the guest room.

To see Serena asleep as well.

Which gives him the perfect opportunity to put his plan in motion.

As he goes off into the bedroom.

Closing the door behind him.

Turning on his light as he begins to write.

 _Dear Serena…_

…


	13. Chapter 13

**Love. Left. Behind.**

 **Chapter 13**

" _The eyes are one of the most powerful tools a woman can have. With one look, she can relay the most intimate message. After the connection is made, words cease to exist. "_

Waking up feeling melancholy for her teenage years.

When the drama was solved by a simple night of crying it out or alone time with someone you cared for. Or hated for that matter.

Getting up slowly and walking out of the room and into the kitchen.

To find a note waiting for me.

Aside a breakfast platter.

Smiling as I picked it up.

And began to read it.

 _Hi mommy. This is from me Suzie._

I read that. Smiling as I laugh then continue.

 _I made you breakfast. Hope you like it._

 _Love, you Suzie._

Taking the tray back into the bedroom.

Wanting to relax and enjoy my sweet daughter's efforts.

That heart of hers is big and pure filled with such a love and innocence.

I hope she never loses it.

I thought eating the rest of it.

Leaving a note back for her.

Posting it on the inside of Suzie's bedroom door.

Going into the bathroom.

To shower.

Almost avoiding the mirror all together.

But then I saw a note there and couldn't ignore it.

"Morning S." The note said smiling as I finished reading it.

Taking it off. Looking at myself.

Then going into the shower.

Sometime later.

Getting out with my hair wrapped in a towel. and my body tied safely in a robe.

Walking back into the bedroom. I open the closet and see it full of clothes.

Tears fill my eyes. Wiping them away. As I pick out my outfit for today.

Once I finished with that. I went back into the living room.

That husband of mine. Is a true rarity. I smile looking at the front door.

Of our home realizing it wasn't empty.

Nate had taped a letter to the door.

As I walk over and open the envelope.

Carefully tracing the letters of his name.

As I sit down.

And begin to read.

 _Dear Serena. Take my hand and come with me. Forget anything else and everything. And just let the world fall into the background. Let me show you what it looks it and how it feels to love you._

 _And how my life started again. Went you knocked on the door that day._

 _It's like my heart had stopped cold. Until we locked eyes again._

 _And I could breath. We're going to go somewhere that neither of have ever been._

 _I will never not be in love with you._

 _Love Nate._

Wiping her eyes. As she heard a knock at the door.

Quickly getting up and opening it.

To find Nate on the other side of the door.

"There you are." "I see you found my letter."

Nate said smiling t her.

"I did." Serena said to him.

"Suzie is safe and very excited to spend some time with uncle Chuck and Doretha."

Nate said. Looking into her eyes.

"You really have thought of everything."

"I want to go with you."

Serena said looking into his eyes.

"I was hopeful to hear those words.

Nate said as he gave her his hand.

She took it as he closed the door behind them.

Walking outside and into the limo.

"Nate how and when and why."

Serena asked as she sat inside.

"I love you."

"It's that simple Mrs. Serena Archibald." Nate said.

Holding her hand.

As he kissed it.

While she blushed.

The door closing behind them.

The dark windows.

Making it impossible to see outside.

The limo taking off.

As she laid her head on his shoulder.

…


	14. Chapter 14

**Love. Left. Behind.**

 **Chapter 14**

" _You couldn't relive your life, skipping the awful parts, without losing what made it worthwhile. You had to accept it as a whole-like the world, or the person you loved."_

Walking out the limo as they linked hands.

Serena looked around then back at Nate. Who smiled at her.

"We are in Maine." "I got us this house and it has a really nice view of the water and the sky." "A break from city life was needed." "We can bring Suzie with us next time."

Nate said to her.

While he let go of her hand and used the key to open the door.

Walking inside after him.

Serena looked inside. Almost speechless as she got deeper into the house.

"Nate." Serena said softly.

Gripping his arm. As he turned to her.

And began to speak.

"It has 4 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms, a spacious backyard area. And in the center of town. So, we are close to everything going on."

"When I saw it I pictured us here." "Spending summers and weekends."

Nate said smiling at her.

"Do you like it.?" He asked her.

"I love it." Serena said taking his hand in hers.

"Show me the rooms." Serena said looking at him.

"Okay all the rooms are spacious and you get a nice view from different angles."

He said taking her from this room to that.

"Which one is yours.?" Serena asked him.

"The one we are in right now."

Nate said looking to her.

"Do you think there's room enough for the both of us."

"In this room and in that bed."

Serena said.

Her hand touching his face. As they locked eyes.

"I miss you."

"Waking up to this face." "Your arms wrapped around me."

"It always felt like the safest place in the world."

"I want that back."

"I want and need us."

"Do you still see beautiful and attractive when you look at me."

"Or is that just wiped cleaned now."

"Knowing everything he's done."

Serena said looking to him.

As she looked away.

Putting his hand on hers.

As he started to speak.

"Let's unpack and check out this place."

Serena said while she let go of his hand.

And went back into the living room.

…


	15. Chapter 15

**Love. Left. Behind.**

 **Chapter 15**

" _Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."_

When I got this call from Nate to come out here and meet up.

I was way more excited than I realized I would be. He said to wait in this café and to sit in the table near the back.

I'm walking into this place and see that instead.

Of him I see the back head of blond hair and smile.

I've seen countless times.

Taking a breath. I walk closer to the her. And sit down.

In the chair, across from her.

Serena looks up at me.

Smiling as we lock eyes.

While she begins to speak.

"He fooled us both."

"With this set up."

"But I really appreciate it."

"I've missed you."

"And I have an idea that he's sensed that I needed you."

"So he planned this."

"Nate has truly done every single thing to make my happy and reassure me."

"That he Is committed to us and our marriage." "And that should be enough."

Serena said a stray tear falling from her eyes.

Noticing it she quickly wiped it away.

Pausing before she spoke again.

"I feel like he's settling for me."

"Like he doesn't want to look like he lacks understanding and emotions."

"If he were to let me go."

"He would feel guilty about it for a while."

"But eventually he would be relieved because then he would have."

"The chance to be normal."

"Have a relationship and a marriage that isn't so dark and messed up with memories."

"A woman would know how incredible he is and want to just let herself be loved by him."

"Instead of keeping him at a distance."

Serena said looking away.

Her hands wrapped around her cup.

I sat there as I watched my best friend pour her heart out to me.

And said nothing.

As she spoke again.

"You didn't come all the way to just listen to me."

"Unravel in public."

Serena said looking to me.

A small smile coming across her face.

"S." "Does Nate know at all how your feeling.?"

I ask her trying to not look her in the eye.

While I gather the courage to ask this next question.

"Has he mentioned interest in being with anyone else.?"

I ask curious.

Seeing the look in the eyes change.

As I sip my drink.

"No!" "He hasn't to me."

"But has he mentioned anyone to you.?"

She asks me.

Worry and panic covering her face and darkening in her eyes.

"I knew it." "He is human and has needs and if I'm not willing to."

"Then I know any random girl who notices him will bypass any wedding ring."

"And throw themselves at him."

"Why did I think he would wait forever for me.?"

Serena said catching her breath. Wiping her eyes.

Noticing people had begun to stare.

"Serena he hasn't told me anything like that."

"I just think you're over thinking this and are being way to insecure."

"And that will drive him away."

"I mean the guy has been practically been doing anything but safeguarding his heart."

"When it came to letting any other woman get near him."

"So forget about anything physical happening."

"His heart is too big and he cares way too much."

"To simply use a woman for her body alone."

"I think you should just lay it all out there for him."

"And see what he says."

I say to her.

Watching her take in my words then respond.

"I started to and then I left the room."

"I was terrified to hear what he would say."

Serena said looking to me.

"Well you're never going to know where you stand with him."

"If you don't let him talk to you."

"Go back to the house and lock yourselves in a room together."

"And neither of you leave."

"Until everything is out in the open."

I said to her.

Taking a breath. As she got up and wrapped her arms around me.

"Thank you Blair."

"I wouldn't know what to do."

"Without you being there to talk me down."

"And get through to me."

When we pull apart.

She looks into my eyes.

And says.

"I'll fill you on what happens next."

"I know how much you like to get the details."

She says smiling at me.

"No I don't need to know any of that."

I say trying to keep my face as normal as possible.

"Bye S."

"Goodbye Blair."

"We should do some shopping or something while you're here."

Serena said. While she got up to leave.

"Yea maybe I don't plan on staying long."

I say to her.

Waving as she gets into the car and drives away.

The smile on my face remaining.

As I get my phone out and call

The person picking up on the first ring.

"You think you can just invite me out here."

"And we wouldn't meet up with each other."

I said smiling into the phone.

Lighting up at the sound of his laughter.

While he asks me how our time together went.

I tell him not to go anywhere she's on the way home.

And that when he's done to meet me at my place.

"I had to see him before I left."

"He said he would stay put and that she was coming through the door.

As we speak.

And that he would see me later.

"Can't wait." I say trying to tone it down.

Taking a breath.

Turning off my phone.

While I headed to the clothing store.

This night will be full of new memories.

I think to myself.

Walking inside.

…

"Nate we have to talk."

I say as I talk his hand and walk into one of the two spare rooms.

"Am I asking too much of you.?"

"Have I drawn you into the arms of another woman.?"

"Or am I just completely overreacting.?"

"I love you so much."

"I couldn't stand it if it was because of me."

"That our marriage fell apart."

"Please just talk to me."

"Tell I'm wrong."

"That I haven't lost you too."

Serena says tears welling up in her eyes.

As Nate began to speak.

…


	16. Chapter 16

**Love. Left. Behind.**

 **Chapter 16**

" _A person doesn't know true hurt and suffering until they've felt the pain of falling in love with someone whose affections lie elsewhere."_

I took a breath and looked at her.

Trying to find the words I needed to say.

Attempting to get through it without my own heart breaking.

"I love you." "I'm in love with you."

"I have tried to give everything I could."

"To make our relationship and marriage work."

"For you to never have to second guess my motives."

"And actions." "But I don't know how much more I can take."

"I have been understanding and anything else to make you happy."

"While things between us have been difficult."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Why do you keep me at a distance.?"

"And think that eventually I'll just give up."

"Walk away and leave everything we've went through in the past."

Nate asked her.

Touching her face.

"Because." "It's the truth."

"Every time I felt his hands on me."

"His lips and all the things he used to say."

"I know that he's gone."

"But I can't escape him."

"As much as I want to and trying."

"He's there It feels like he's watching me."

"And waiting for me to be happy so he can steal it away again."

Serena said.

Wiping her eyes.

Clutching onto him.

As he wrapped his arms around her.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm going to try harder to let it go."

Serena said wiping her eyes.

"This isn't going to ever leave you."

"All you can do is do work through it."

"And soak in every ounce of goodness you have."

"You fought and survived and are here."

"I want you to depend on me."

"Talk to me."

"Tell me what you want and what you need."

"You are my best friend."

"Our life doesn't work without you."

"I love you so much."

Nate said as his voice broke.

Touching his face.

They're eyes now locked.

"I love you too."

Serena said to him.

"Kiss me."

Serena said softly.

As Nate wiped her eyes.

Cupping her face in his hands.

Leaning over as he kissed her gently.

Pulling apart.

While the couple caught their breaths.

Serena started to speak.

"Look at me."

Serena said her face flushed.

"So beautiful."

Nate said touching her gently.

"We should stop." Nate said looking up at her.

"No."

"I want you."

"I want us."

"love me."

Serena said.

Reconnecting their lips.

Nate took her in his arms.

Laying her on the bed in front of them gently.

Looking down at her.

"I love you."

Nate said to her.

Leaning down as she touched his face.

"I love you too."

Serena said.

As he leaned down reconnecting their lips.

…

He should have been here by now.

Why did I do all of this.? Blair thought to herself.

While she crossed her arms.

Throwing her phone. Across the room.

He should have been here by now!

Blair yelled.

…

Looking out the window as the darkness covered.

A smile coming across the face.

A voice spoke.

"You really thought I would just let you move on."

"Never you are for me alone."

"And it's time for you to come back."

"Because and this time."

"I'm never letting you go."

The person said as they walked away.

…


	17. Chapter 17

**Love. Left. Behind.**

 **Chapter 17**

" _I want morning and noon and nightfall with you. I want your tears, your smiles, your kisses...the smell of your hair, the taste of your skin, the touch of your breath on my face. I want to see you in the final hour of my life...to lie in your arms as I take my last breath."_

In the morning.

The sun reflected into the room.

Waves crashing in the distance.

The warmth and safety of the love expressed in the actions of the night before.

Linger in the air.

As the couple awaken.

"Nate." I say quietly.

Not wanting to wake up him up in case he is asleep.

Smiling. As I turned my head.

Feeling him kiss my shoulder.

The simple action. Makes me blush.

My hand going to his face.

My eyes focused on him.

"I love you."

I tell him. Tears welling up in my eyes.

As I feel his fingers wipe them away.

While he links our fingers together.

"I'm happy." I tell him.

Leaning over kissing him gently.

"I love seeing you like this."

I tell her. While she smiles wide.

"Relaxed, basking in the afterglow of our love."

"You are safe here with me."

"Finally you let yourself be free."

"Opening your heart to me in every way."

Feeling you grip onto to me as if any at any moment you would float away.

Made me want to focus on you and tether you to me that much more.

"Your home now."

"We are moving on."

"Leaving the past to burn away."

Nate said.

As he faced her.

"Are you okay.?" "Everything that happened with us."

"I just don't want to regret this or have it set you back."

Nate said to her.

His vulnerability on display.

"I'm more than okay."

"I'm at peace in control of my heart."

"Taking back my body and my wants and needs."

"And that is because of you."

"For a few more hours."

"It's just me and you."

"And I want to savor every second."

Serena said smiling as she kissed him.

…


	18. Chapter 18

**Love. Left. Behind.**

 **Chapter 18**

" _One reason we have children I think is to learn that parts of ourselves we had given up for dead are merely dormant and that the old joys can re emerge fresh and new and in a completely different form."_

Days later

"This was beautifully planned."

"And ended up being exactly what we needed."

"To reconnect and get that much more."

"Deeper connected with each other."

Serena said.

Smiling as she kissed him.

While Nate leaned over and linked their fingers together.

As the couple got back into the limo.

Neither person leaving the side of the other.

Only pulling apart when they eventually arrived at Chuck's.

Knocking on the door.

Doretha opening the door and letting them inside the house.

Smiling as they thanked her. looking into the living room.

To see that Suzie was all ready to go home.

Once she saw them. Suzie ran into her parent's arms.

"We missed you so much."

Serena and Nate said.

"Time to go home."

"Let me just say goodbye to uncle Chuck first."

Serena said.

As she headed into the hallway.

And looked around at the pictures on the wall.

On the way to Chuck's room.

"Come on Suzie Q." Nate said.

Thanking Doretha again as he took Suzie's hand.

While they walked out to the car.

Just as Serena was going to knock on Chuck's door

She heard a conversation going on.

She had attempted to ignore but couldn't.

Behind one of the bedroom doors. She heard.

A voice she knew.

As well as her own.

Blair's. Curious as she listened in.

"Look alright you decided to do what you did."

"That was not on me."

"I tried okay."

"He doesn't see me like that."

"But I have one more plan."

"And if it works out."

"I'll send you proof."

"Once you get her."

"You do whatever you want."

"You want the truth."

"I don't think anyone would really care."

"They would all get over it."

Blair said laughing.

As she hung up.

And started to open the door.

While Serena turned her head.

Knocking on Chuck's bedroom door.

Seeing Blair attempt to speed by without noticing her.

Serena called her name.

Causing her to turn around and face her.

"Blair what are you doing here.?" Serena asked.

Taking in the look of uncomfortably and nervousness on her face.

"I was just dropping off Henry."

Blair said with a smile on her face.

"We should bring the kids together for a playdate."

Serena suggested.

"Yea later sometime."

Blair said.

As she walked away.

Going out the front door.

And into her car driving away.

Chuck opened his door.

Letting Serena inside.

Closing the door behind her.

Smiling as he hugged her.

"If I didn't know any better."

"I would say that smile means you're happy."

Chuck said as they pulled apart.

Facing her as she started to speak.

"I am." "We both are."

"I just wanted to personally thank you."

"For being here for Nate and Suzie."

"When I was away."

"And being here for me."

"Since I got back."

"You are family to us."

"You, Blair, Henry."

"Just know all of you have a home with us."

"Whenever you need it."

Serena said looking to him.

"Thank you sis."

"And the same goes for the you, Nate and Suzie."

"I know if it was me you would have done the same thing."

"He's my best friend." "You're my sister."

"No questions asked and no thank you needed."

Chuck said to her.

As she opened the door and walked back into the hallway.

Joining Nate and Suzie into the car.

As the family drove away.

Chuck smiled at the sight.

Then called out to Henry.

"Come here Son."

"Tell me all about your fun filled weekend."

"With your grandparents."

Chuck said.

As they sat down on the couch.

And caught up.

…


	19. Chapter 19

**Love. Left. Behind.**

 **Chapter 19**

 _The worst pain in the world goes beyond the physical. Even further beyond any other emotional pain one can feel. It is the betrayal of a friend."_

I could say that this was a mistake and I never meant for it to go this far.

But honestly this feeling of exhaustion that came with the closeness of our lives. And the similarity in our history. Is what started it. As time went on.

My want and need for her to just understand. Grew because she never saw it.

She just kept talking and telling me things. Not realizing. I had tuned out of our friendship years ago.

The only reason I've stuck around this long.

Is because of Nate.

And now finally he is going to see that person he belongs to is me.

Serena will have her hands full.

With what I have planned for her next.

Blair thought to herself.

As she turned and faced him.

While he smiled at her.

"Here is the address."

"Don't do anything yet."

"Until I contact you and have the proof you asked for."

"That my plan has been completed."

"Then and only then."

"You go to her."

Blair said as she smiled at him.

"I knew you were the right person to seek out."

"We are hours away."

"From being with the people we love."

"Without anything in our way."

"Now in the meantime."

"Tell me about the girl."

He says interested.

"Her name is Suzie."

"That is another thing."

"She never deserved to be a mother to her."

"Suzie could have been my daughter."

"And Nate should have been my husband."

"But instead his obsession with Serena was never-ending."

"Now he married her and thinks he finally had his happy ending."

"When the reality is Serena left by choice."

Blair said.

As she poured her drink and sat down.

…

"What is with that look.?" Nate asked.

While the couple walked hand and hand.

Suzie steps ahead.

The two had decided to take advantage of the beautiful day.

And have a picnic lunch at the park.

Allowing Suzie to pick the spot.

While Nate and Serena kept to themselves.

"I love our family."

"And I want us to have many more days like these."

"Mornings like this."

"One where we ate pancakes and danced and laughed until we were in tears."

"Nights like last night."

"Where our love is safely cocooned in the darkness."

"Whispered between our kisses and touches that never ended."

"The gap between us closing."

"Our eyes expressing all the things."

"We feel and think."

"While we fall more and more into each other."

"I want to spend as much time together as a family."

"And one on one with Suzie as I can."

"She is growing up so much."

"Every day I see some change in her."

"I already missed so much."

"This second chance I have means the world to me."

Serena said touching his face.

While he leaned over and kissed her.

"We have the rest of our lives."

"That's more than enough time."

"To make a lifetime of memories."

"Graduations, weddings, teenage years, Anniversaries the many milestones we have yet to witness."

"Becoming that couple who have been together for so long."

"And yet they are so in love and never tire of each other."

Nate said having fun dreaming of the future.

"Having more kids." "A brother and sister." Serena said in response.

"Sounds perfect." "We would be outnumbered."

Nate said.

looking at her smiling face.

"We could handle it."

Serena said to him.

"Plus you are breath- taking pregnant."

Nate said.

Pulling her closer to him.

"So I want to give it a year."

"Then we can try and see if we're meant to be a family of four."

Serena said.

Smiling as she kissed him.

The couple sat down.

Alongside their daughter.

As Suzie told them.

All about her idea for the talent show.

She had coming up at her school.

And that Cameron said.

His parents wanted to meet with the both of you.

Suzie said. looking up. At them.

"I think they're upset because he gave me a present."

Suzie said.

"Which was.?" They said in unison.

"A pretty bracelet."

"He said it was a late birthday present."

"And you told it was rude to not accept gifts."

Suzie told them.

"We will talk with his parents."

"And you give Cameron back that bracelet."

"The two of you are way too young to be giving gifts like that."

"But daddy that's not fair."

Suzie said.

Looking toward her mother.

"Your dad and I are on the same page here."

"You both are kids."

"Trust us you will have plenty of time for this kind of thing when your older."

Serena said to her daughter.

"Enjoy this time in your life Suzie Q."

"You will miss it one day."

She said.

As they began to eat.

Beginning to throw ideas around for dinner and plans for the weekend.

…


	20. Chapter 20

**Love. Left. Behind.**

 **Chapter 20**

" _There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable."_

So, this is me making up for missing out on our time together.

He said looking up at me.

Smiling as if I understood.

And I did. His loyalty to her.

Always went beyond any understanding to me.

Couldn't he see it.

He deserved so much better.

A woman who knew what an incredible man he was.

And who never let him go a day without her.

Sighing as I watched him cook.

Attempting to help as he declined my offer.

Telling me relax and get to something to drink.

And that dessert was covered as well.

So, my hands were free.

I wanted nothing more than to use my hands.

To bring him closer to me.

Closing that gap between us.

That began when I let him go.

Thinking I was doing the right thing.

When in reality.

I was giving her everything she wanted.

Just like always.

She could never be content in her own life.

Which is why she clambered so tightly onto mine.

And traveled so much.

I thought it was so pathetic.

Her and her sob story.

Which he ate up.

Which I'm sure got him right back into bed.

Just like she likes him.

Desperately love sick.

Clinging to her catering to her in every way.

Let me place a smile on my face and look at him.

While he brings over the plates of food.

My heart aching for him.

But what else is new.

I loved him for so long.

The closest I was able to get to him.

Was by marrying his best friend.

I don't get what Serena was thinking tell me all this.

Emotional baggage she carries.

Did she really expect me to wrap my arms around her?

And tell her everything would be fine.

And how the two of them would be together forever.

I could've done that. It would have been.

A lot harder to hold back my laughter though.

Maybe it's not just me.

He sees it to.

Tell me that you don't imagine.

What it be like to be close without all those restrictions.

Finally letting me show you.

Just how wrong we both were for denying ourselves.

For so long.

And that it was okay.

We deserved our chance to be happy together.

Eating and making small talk.

I take him in.

Wishing that I could lean over and kiss him.

Remind him just how good it feels.

To be wanted and desired.

By someone who is in love with you.

After we're done eating.

He gets the remote and sits on the couch.

I sit on the chair next to him.

But he insists I come sit in the seat right by him.

I smile and do what he asks.

We decide on this movie I haven't seen in years.

500 days of Summer.

While the movie plays and I turn out the lights.

I catch glances at him.

During certain scenes and wonder if.

He gets why I picked it.

"Do you really love her. Or are you to terrified to go after what your heart really wants.?" I think to myself.

But seeing the look on his face.

I realize I said it out loud.

Smiling as I said.

"That is what happens when you've seen this movie."

"So many times."

"You insert your own dialogue."

I say playing it off.

As he turns his head back to the screen.

Taking a breath.

While I get up and leave the room.

Thinking of the excuse I will use when I get back.

Sitting on my bed in my room.

Unshed tears stinging my eyes.

While I look around my bedroom.

I hate it.

I love him.

I'm in love with him.

And he has no idea.

No one will ever know.

How unbearable it was.

Sitting there at their wedding.

Watching the way, he looked at her.

The words he said.

How I wanted to be on the other side of him.

Getting to experience his love out in the open.

I look at a picture of the four of us.

From years, past.

The happiness. Radiating from us all.

Jumping as I heard the opening of my door.

He looked at me. Walking over slowly.

As he closed the door behind him.

Quickly I wiped my eyes.

And took a breath.

Hopeful he wouldn't ask me anything.

Then leave.

This was Nate I was talking about.

Of course, he wouldn't just walk out.

Especially after seeing me like this.

He sits next to me.

On the bed.

Not taking his eyes off me.

As he began to speak.

"Blair look at me."

He said softly.

Concern full in his voice.

"I know the movie didn't affect you that much."

"So what's wrong.?" He asks.

Searching my eyes.

While I look away and look down at the floor.

"Nothing that affects you."

"Or really matters anyway at this point."

I say getting up.

Then turn back around.

As I felt his hand on my shoulder.

Our eyes locked.

I can't look away.

"If it affects you and is causing you pain."

"Then yes it has something to do with me."

He said.

"You don't have to be tough with me."

"We've seen each other through plenty of difficult moments."

"And have relied on our years of knowing each other."

"Past and present to help us find a way out."

"Something obviously got to you."

"And if you don't want to share that right now."

"Then don't."

"I'll sit here with you and be quiet."

Nate said as he took his hand off my shoulder.

Instantly missing the warmth of his touch.

Realizing I have to say something.

Otherwise I will lose the nerve I had left.

Sitting back down next to him.

I start to speak.

Not being able to meet his eyes.

Until these words leave my lips.

"Nate I'm in love with you."

"I know that I should have said this years ago."

"Preferably when we were both single."

"But I didn't." "And now you know the truth."

"I can't look at you."

"I can feel the rejection looming."

Feeling his hand on mine.

And the coolness of his fingers on my face.

I always can't bare to look up at him.

My heart is pounding so hard.

I'm sure he hears every beat.

He doesn't say my name.

Or anything else.

But what he does do.

Is get up and lock the door.

As he sits back down next to me.

Closing the gap between us.

…


	21. Chapter 21

**Love. Left. Behind.**

 **Chapter 21**

" _She loved him. But he didn't know how to love.  
He could talk about love. He could see love and feel love. But he couldn't give love.  
He could make love. But he couldn't make promises.  
She had desperately wanted his promises.  
She wanted his heart, knew she couldn't have it so she took what she could get._

 _Her love, her body, she had given to him and he'd taken with such feigned sincerity, absorbing every drop of her._

We stared at each other. For about 5 or ten minutes.

My hands found their way to her face.

Turning her towards me as our locked again.

I want to know what it would be like.

Feeling the softness of your skin.

Your lips on mine.

Giving into each other.

Your fingers digging into my back

As I pulled you closer.

Kissing and touching you.

Until either of us could stand it anymore.

Catching our breaths.

Needing to stay in contact.

Minutes even hours after.

Because the truth.

Was no longer hidden.

In whispered tones.

It was real and we lived in our own world.

"I'm out words."

"I have nothing else to say."

"Give in to me."

"Then let me fall into you."

I said.

As I leaned in.

This is happening he loves me.

I knew it.

It was not just me who felt it.

It was both of us now.

There was nothing stopping us.

Our lips so close.

I can feel his breath on mine.

He touches me.

And I melt.

Closing my eyes.

As he starts to speak.

…

"Daddy is going to love your picture Suzy Q."

"I will make sure he gets it."

"I love you." I say softly.

Kissing her forehead.

While I turn out the light.

And close the door behind me.

Walking back into the living room.

Curious as to where my husband is.

I texted and called two or 3 times.

And he has yet to respond back to me.

Don't worry so much.

I tell myself.

He's hanging out with Blair.

He's having fun.

He's more than proved his loyalty.

To me, our family and our marriage.

The hard drops hit the windows and roof.

I always loved the rain.

It gave me a chance to cleanse myself.

Ridding me of the messiness of my day.

Taking a breath.

As I looked out the window.

Hearing the key in the door.

Made my heart leap.

"There he was."

"As usual probably stopped to bring something home."

"For us and drove slowly." "Since he was driving in the rain."

I thought to myself.

The door opening fully.

It being dark because of storm and the late hour.

The door shutting quietly.

"Nate about time you got here."  
"I was worried."

I said smiling.

Not getting a response back.

Curious I started to walk closer.

The person started to speak.

"Serena I've been watching you."

"Waiting for the right time."

"To at last bring you back where you belong."

"How did I find all of this out."

"You may ask."

"You can thank your friend Blair for that one."

"She wants you gone."

"A lot more than I do."

"So she can finally have that husband of yours to herself."

"Now let's get going."

"We have so much to catch up on."

The voice said.

I'm almost sure I forgot the ability to speak or breath.

Standing in front of me.

Was my kidnapper.

And from what I just heard.

Blair is the reason he's here.

Serena thought to herself.

As she attempted to keep breathing.

"Now let's bring along that daughter of yours."

"I'm sure she is just as stunning as you are."

He said.

Staring at me.

In that moment, I found my voice.

"Don't take another step."

"Or I will kill you with my bare hands."

I threatened.

"Touchy." "Alright then."

"You can come with me now."

"Or you can let me put a few holes in you first then the party really begins."

"You were always so good and beautiful."

"It has been to long Serena."

He said.

As he kissed me.

…


	22. Chapter 22

**Love. Left. Behind.**

 **Chapter 22**

" _I wanted to tell her everything, maybe if I'd been able to, we could have lived differently, maybe I'd be there with you now instead of here. Maybe... if I'd said, 'I'm so afraid of losing something I love that I refuse to love anything,' maybe that would have made the impossible possible. Maybe, but I couldn't do it, I had buried too much too deeply inside me. And here I am, instead of there."_

I sent the video and the pictures. He's probably there already.

I would like to imagine her face. When she thinks it's Nate.

Then the surprise of it being the person who ruined and changed her forever.

Man, making him a copy of the key.

Sending him proof of me and Nate in bed. To taunt Serena with.

And the cherry on top.

Serena will be gone from all our lives.

And hopefully. Never to be seen or heard from again.

Oh, Nate you're so easy.

A few fake tears and a confession.

And you're ready to drop the nice guy routine.

Showing to the world.

Who I knew you always were.

Which is just like me.

Our wants, needs, most importantly our desires.

Top everything else.

Blair thought to herself.

While she laughed, and laughed.

So loudly she woke him up.

"Hey there sexy."

I said smiling as I leaned over kissing him.

"These last few hours have been incredible."

"You really know how to make a girl feel special."

I said to him.

Putting my hand on his face.

"We should talk about it."

He said.

looking up at me.

"No there is nothing else that needs to be said."

"You sleep." "It's late you could leave tomorrow some time."

"I say smiling wide.

"Wondering what she ever saw in him."

As he fell back asleep.

I put on his shirt and took a few more pictures.

Sending it away to Ben.

Then went into the bathroom.

And waited for my own confirmation.

That my partner had finished his part of things.

And Serena and that kid

Were gone.

There is a reason why Henry is barely here.

I never cared for kids.

Chuck insisted we have a baby.

I decided why not.

Nine months later.

There he was.

Blair threw the shirt to the floor and went into the shower.

Washing off the evidence of her night of passion and lies.

Getting out as she looked at her phone.

Seeing a Text from Ben.

Two words in the message.

 _It's done._

Smiling as she read it.

Jumping back into bed.

Deciding to give Nate just the wakeup call.

He needed.

She thought to herself.

As she started to kiss him.

…

Wiping her mouth.

As Serena attempted to get rid of the taste he left behind.

Out of her mouth.

A mixture of smoke, liquor, and evil,

Hopeful that Suzie was fast asleep.

As she tried to reach for her phone.

He looked at her.

Smiling with yellow teeth and a grin that sent chills down her spine.

"Serena you be a good girl."

"And do what I tell you."

"Otherwise."

"You will be a mother without a child."

Taking in his words.

She knew in order to save Suzie she would have to comply.

As least for now.

Hearing the sound of footsteps.

Running towards her.

Serena felt her heart stop.

"Mommy! I heard loud noises!"

"What's happening!" Suzie asked.

Sleep in her eyes.

Her hair in pony tails.

Her pajamas blue.

Slippers on her feet.

As she looked to her mother.

Trying to hide the fear in her eyes.

She attempted to speak.

But he took over.

"Hi there."

"My name is Ben."

"Don't mind me and your mommy here."

"We're just playing a game."

"Would you join us.?"

He asks excitedly.

"Sure I love games."

Suzie says as she smiled.

"The first rule is no talking."

"The second rule is no running or anything that would make noise or bring attention."

"The third rule is do everything I say."

"And to not listen to your mommy."

"Because she lost the game."

"And now she's being punished for it."

"Now we are going to go outside and get into my car."

"And go somewhere far away."

"Doesn't that sound like fun.?"

He asks her.

Shaking her head. While she smiled.

Taking his hand.

As they all walked out the door.

Letting Suzie go inside first.

And shut the door.

He slammed Serena against the door.

Looking into her eyes.

As he spoke.

"Now how this plays out is on you."

"Sit down."

"Shut up."

And drink."

He says.

Opening the car door.

Giving each of them.

A dark colored bottle.

With liquid, inside.

Serena couldn't tell what it was.

But knew from the smell it was strong.

She took a sip.

Looking back at Suzie.

Who followed her lead.

Then the car started moving.

And Serena felt her eyes.

Get heavy and her arms feel thick at her sides.

It was tiring to even attempt to speak.

As she laid back and closed her eyes.

Eventually the car stopped.

When Serena awakened, she was inside a house.

But it was dark.

So, she couldn't tell where she was.

Looking on both sides of her.

Realizing she was alone.

She began to panic.

Where was Suzie?

What had he done to her.

"Your mean!"

"I want my mommy!"

Serena heard from far away.

"Your mommy is gone."

"You have only me now."

He said in response.

"I want to go home!"

Suzie said as she began to cry.

Tears began to fall from Serena's eyes.

She had to find a way out.

Her little girl was alone with this monster.

"You are home Suzy Q."

"And you belong to me now."

He said as he walked away.

Shutting the door loudly as the room shook.

All Serena could hear.

Was the sounds of her daughter falling apart

Until there was silence.

"About time you got here."

Ben said.

"Of course I'm here."

"Now all we have to do is wait."

"And see who cares enough to come looking."

"Or who loses it first."

"Serena or the kid."

Blair said laughing.

"That girl has a mouth on her."

Ben said.

"I know it's really annoying."

"You leave her to me."

"You have Serena all to yourself."

Blair said.

As leaned over kissing him.

"There is a bed with your name on it."

"We should make use of this quiet time."

Blair said taking his hand.

Slamming the door shut behind them.

…


	23. Chapter 23

**Love. Left. Behind.**

 **Chapter 23**

" _I buried my head under the darkness of the pillow and pretended it was night. I couldn't see the point of getting up. I had nothing to look forward to."_

Days Later

After I've spent hours trying to figure this out.

I've come to the conclusion. There are no windows in this room.

I can't even see light from a crack in the door.

Why you may ask. Is because there is no door.

I'm trapped.

It's been days.

I haven't heard Suzie's voice in days.

And that is what is keeping me from.

Disappearing into this darkness.

Even if I couldn't see her.

Hearing her voice would at least tell me.

That she's alive and still fighting this.

All this silence is just. Making me lose the bit I hope I have left.

No one knows we are here.

I've heard Blair and Ben's voices.

Their so fucking chirper and full of energy.

You can tell they've eaten and have slept.

I don't know how much longer.

My heart can take this.

I need her.

I barely made it out alive last time.

I'm not strong enough this time.

Wiping my tears. Pull it together.

Suzie needs you.

If I'm seeming okay.

Then she will try to.

Like my thoughts were being heard.

However, I got in here was beginning to be opened.

As I looked ahead.

A pair of eyes looked back at me.

Flashing a flashlight in my eyes.

Then grabbing my arm tightly.

Already feeling it.

I know he would be leaving a mark.

Looking at me.

Smiling with pride.

I had no energy for his games.

I just wanted to go home.

And get back to my life.

"The fun is over."

"Let me go Ben."

"Haven't you put through enough already.!?"

I yell at him.

"5 years wasn't enough!"

"And now you bought my daughter into this too."

"What exactly is that about.?"

"She's 5 years old Ben."

"She is of no use to you."

"You do understand that right.?"

"Blair is pulling your strings."

"How embarrassing for you."

"Powerless against her."

"I guess even you have a weakness."

"Now do the smart thing here.'

"And let us go."

Serena said crossing her arms.

Quietly looking for any signs of Suzie.

Finding nothing yet.

While Ben began to speak.

"You have real nerve you know that."

"Standing there saying all these things to me."

"When I'm the one who cared."

"And took care of you."

"Loved you."

He said touching my face.

As I threw his hand off me.

"Our involvement ended a long time ago."

"You have yet to get it through your head."

"Or maybe you didn't see my wedding ring."

I've been married for years now."

"To the guy of my dreams."

"Who loves me and I'm sure is frantic looking for us."

Serena said looking at him.

Laughing as he took out his phone.

"Really."

"That husband of yours is some prize alright."

Ben said.

Turning on his phone.

Showing her the pictures

Blair had sent him.

Shaking her head in disbelief.

"Lies Nate would never do that to me."

"After all it took for me to trust him."

"And let myself be vulnerable and give my heart to him."

"He was a main factor in my healing."

"He loves our family."

"And wants to have a long and happy future together."

Serena said.

Taking a breath.

While she looked at her wedding ring.

"Enjoy your fake pictures."

"I know what I have and who I've built it with."

"Nate is a good guy."

"My best friend."

"He knows what I've been through."

"And wouldn't add to that pain."

Serena said.

"Well if he's wonderful."

"Then look at the video."

"And let's see just how much he was thinking about you."

Ben says. While he turns on the video.

Feeling sick and dizzy.

As she tries to keep control over her emotions.

But longer she watches.

The more the pain increases.

Nate and Blair.

While I was at home.

Waiting for him.

That's why he wasn't picking up.

Too busy with her.

Serena attempted to wipe her tears.

While they continued to roll down her face.

Throwing the phone against the wall.

Watching it shatter into pieces.

"Bastard!" "I can't believe he would do this to me."

"I took everything I had to believe in him."

"And in us."

"Now I know what a lie it was."

"He just wouldn't say it to my face."

"He probably wanted her all along."

Serena said unable to stop her tears.

"I need to go home!"

"You have ruined what is left of my life."

"Let me leave and I won't report you to anyone."

"I can't do this anymore."

"Where is my daughter.?"

"I haven't heard her voice in days."

"You have no idea how alone I've felt."

"Without it."

"She is all that have."

"The only reason I'm able to right now."

"Tell me where she is now!"

Serena yelled.

The room echoing.

"You were right."

"She was no use to me."

"So I told Blair to take her."

"And do what she wanted with her."

"If you want information."

"You have to go to Blair."

He said.

While Serena began.

To burst open door after door.

Until she was face to face with Blair.

Walking inside.

Shutting and locking the door behind her.

Causing Blair to jump up.

"Where is she Blair!"

Serena yelled.

Her eyes darkening.

"I have no idea."

"Who you're talking about."

"So if you wouldn't mind."

"Leaving my room."

"And my life."

"That would be just perfect."

Blair said in response.

Taking a breath.

As Serena walked over to Blair.

Stared into her eyes.

Then jumped on her.

Knocking her to the ground.

Her hands wrapped around her throat.

"You know where she is."

"You spoiled, entitled, delusional, selfish, crazy, bitch."

"You were so desperate to be me and have my life."

"That you slept with my husband."

"And planned for me to get kidnapped."

"With my kidnapper."

"Because that is the only way."

"Nate would have ever seen you."

"As anything other than."

"Someone he needed to rescue."

"I feel so sad for Chuck and Henry."

"They have no choice but have you in their lives."

"But me I'm free of you."

"Would you like a round of applause."

"Your life is as useless and lifeless."

"As this house."

"You know where Suzie is."

"And I know that your protecting him."

"Why I don't know."

"But I can tell you."

"One thing."

"If I don't get answers soon."

"I'm going to lose whatever small amount."

"Of sanity I have left."

"Then no one is safe."

"Blair please."

"You can have Nate."

"Suzy is everything to me."

Serena said as her voice broke.

"He lied to you."

"I don't know where she is."

"He got tired of hr."

"Always being there."

"Not listening."

"The crying and whining."

"She asked for you all day long."

"Ask him where she is."

"The last time."

"I asked him about her."

"He smiled and said."

"Our little problem is over."

Blair said.

With that Serena took heavy steps into the other room.

"What are you doing here!"

"Who the hell do you think you are!"

He yelled at her.

"I'm Suzie's mother."

"And I'm demanding you give me answers."

"Otherwise I will burn this place down."

Serena said to him.

"She's gone Serena."

"I told you."

"If you didn't listen."

"You would lose her."

"So you want to point and blame and punish."

"Look at yourself."

He said to her.

Slamming the door in her face.

…


	24. Chapter 24

**Love. Left. Behind.**

 **Chapter 24**

" _Because no retreat from the world can mask what is in your face_

 _Flashback_

 _Come on Suzy Q. Blair said taking the young girl's hand._

 _While they got into the car. Under the cover of darkness._

 _Ben had simply said to get rid of her. Without giving any._

 _Sort of location. So, Blair decided to make sure that Suzie was safe._

 _She didn't know when and how she became this person._

 _But she knew that Suzie was innocent in all of this._

 _Serena on the other hand. Was a different matter entirely._

 _Blair thought to herself._

 _Driving miles away. The intended destination._

 _Taking hours. Eventually reaching where she wanted to go._

 _Picking up Suzie who had fallen asleep in the car._

 _And knocked on the door._

 _After 2 knocks. She tried one last time._

 _Which is what thankfully._

 _Got the door to be opened._

" _Blair.?" What are you doing here.?"_

" _It's late and why do you have Suzie.?"_

" _Why is she not at home.?"_

 _Chuck asked her._

 _Sleep in his eyes._

" _All I can say is to keep her safe."_

" _And take care of her for a while."_

" _Everything will be explained soon."_

 _Blair said looking at him._

 _As she put Suzie in his arms._

 _While he tucked her into bed._

 _In the guest room, inside._

 _He walked back out._

 _More awake now._

 _Looking up at Blair as she started to speak._

" _You were always way better to me."_

" _Then I ever deserved."_

 _Blair said. Touching his face with her hand._

 _As she walked away and got back into her car._

 _Confused even more by her words._

 _Chuck went back inside. And closed the door._

Present Time

Walking inside the family home of his best friend.

With Suzy in tow.

Chuck looks around.

Trying to rid himself of this strange feeling he had.

As the door opened.

Suzie smiled. While she hugged her dad.

Then went safely into her room.

As Nate walked out of his room.

And went face to face with Chuck.

At the disgruntled look of his friend.

He looked in his eyes as he spoke.

"You look like a complete disaster."

"What's going on here.?"

"Why did Blair drop Suzie off at my house.?"

"And where is Serena.?"

"We haven't been in contact with each other in days."

"I'm really worried now."

Chuck said looking to him.

"Instead of just standing there."

"You could talk to me."

"And tell me the truth."

"So I don't start planning a search party here."

Chuck said looking up at him.

"I slept with Blair."

"She plotted and helped Ben rekidnap Serena."

"I have no idea where Serena is."

"And how she is doing."

"I ruined my marriage and I don't have any good excuse for it."

"But my own lack of self-control."

Nate said to him.

"I don't know who you are anymore."

Chuck said as he left the house.

…


	25. Chapter 25

**Love. Left. Behind.**

 **Chapter 25**

" _If giving my everything is what it takes, I won't hesitate, not for even a second. That's what it means to have something you'd give your life to keep safe."_

 _Flashback_

 _Hello Nate. By the time you watch this video. I will be gone. And you will have to live. With the fact that you ended your marriage for something that never even existed. I was and will never be in love with you._

 _It was all apart of my plan._

 _To lure you away from Serena and this was my last real effort._

 _Luckily for me it worked. Ben and I have kidnapped Serena. Pick your mouth up off the floor. That's right. While we were in bed together._

 _Ben was busy kidnapping_ _Serena. I mean I did make him a copy of the house key. But he was smooth and got the job done._

 _Now I can't tell you anything else._

 _Goodbye Nate._

 _I really hope you're proud of yourself._

 _You lost her all on your own._

 _Blair said._

 _As she ended the video._

 _Nate couldn't believe what he had allowed to happen._

 _How easy it had been to believe her._

 _And how deeply he hurt Serena._

 _He feared this time._

 _It would be beyond repair._

 _Current Time_

"Chuck my favorite ex-husband."

"What can I do for you.?" Blair asked happily.

"Cut the cute and tell me where Serena is."

Chuck said.

Trying to not be to emotional.

"I have no idea where Serena is."

"God do you and Nate care for anyone else.?"

"Serena is all you ever talk about."

"Poor little Serena."

"I have yet to hear you mention any concern for me."

Blair said.

"That's because you brought this on yourself."

"Serena didn't ask to be brought back into this again."

"How could you have done this to her."

"Set her up this way.?"

"She was supposed to be your best friend."

Chuck says to her.

"Friend or leech.?" "You decide."

Blair said to him.

"Anyway I've got to go now."

"This talk has gone on way to long."

Blair said as she hung up.

"So you got all of that right.?"

"Chuck said. As he switched over to his other call.

"Every word we know exactly where she is."

The voice said.

"You need back up.?" The person asked.

"No I have this handled."

"It's personal."

"Thank you for your help."

Chuck said.

"Anytime Chuck you are a loyal member in our world."

The person said as they hung up.

"I'm coming S."

"Hold on just a little bit longer."

Chuck thought to himself.

While he drove to the location.

…

"I'm not going anywhere with you Ben!"

Serena yelled as he grabbed her arm.

"Yes you are!" "Blair told me that guy Chuck called her."

"Asking all these questions."

"I can't have that."

"I already lost you once."  
He said.

Touching my face with his hand.

Feeling dirtier by the second.

I tried to hold off as long as I could.

Especially since I heard a car.

Coming closer by the minute.

Once I saw the car in front of me.

I almost fell over.

"Chuck!" I said softly.

Watching as got out of the car.

As I broke free. From Ben's grasp.

And ran into his arms.

"Chuck." "What are you doing here.?"

"How did you find me.?"

"Where is Suzie.?"

I ask him. Tears running down my face.

I don't have the energy to wipe them away.

"Hey sis."

"You don't worry about any of that."

"I'm going to take you home."

"Suzie is safe."

"There was no way I was going to let you disappear again."

Chuck said.

Taking a breath as he wiped his eyes.

And began walking with her to the car.

"Hell no!"

"She's mine!" Ben yelled.

"She doesn't belong to anyone else but herself and her family."

"Who the hell are you anyway.?"

Ben asked him.

"I'm Chuck Bass."

Chuck said.

As he safely got Serena in the car with the door closed.

He turned around.

"And walked back up to Ben."

The gun he had hidden on full display."

"You don't feel so tough now do you.?"

He asked him.

"You wouldn't shoot me."

Ben said smiling at him.

Looking Ben in the eyes.

As Chuck pointed the gun.

At him. And fired.

Once in the leg and the other in the chest.

Ben falling over.

Blood began to pour out of him.

As Chuck took off his gloves putting them away.

Placing the gun.

Back into Ben's hands.

While the police showed up in a matter of minutes.

"Ben is here. Blair is inside." Chuck said.

As he began to walk back to the car.

"Thank you for your help Chuck."

The officer said to him.

"Just make sure both of them no longer exist to hurt anyone else."

Chuck said.

As he heard the words.

"You are under arrest for the kidnapping of Serena Archibald." "And attempted kidnapping of Suzie Archibald."

"Blair Bass." "You are under arrest for the plotting and execution of this kidnapping."

"As well as taking part in the capture."

The officer said as both people were brought into police cars.

And taken away.

Once they were gone.

Chuck started to drive.

Serena took a breath.

Resting her head on his shoulder.

Time went by.

Hours of quiet and the radio.

The window half way down.

Air coming into the car.

Chuck every so often.

Looked over at her.

Wondering where her mind was in this moment.

"I know everything else."

Chuck said.

As he looked at her.

Noticing her face with tears streaks running down it.

While she gripped his arm tight.

"We are going over to my house."

"Or should I say our house."

Chuck said.

Smiling at her.

"Suzie is waiting for you."

"The guest room is all ready for you both."

"Stay as long as you need."

"Henry and I could use the company and feminine touch around the place."

Chuck said.

That comment causing her to smile.

"There a smile."

"Good you have so much life left to live."

"I want you to know that you are not alone."

"I'm here for anything you need."

Chuck said.

"Looking at him.

Pausing as she spoke.

"I love you."

"I wouldn't have made it out of there."

"Without you."

Serena said wiping her eyes.

"I love you too sis."

"You are strongest woman I know."

"You would have survived and found a way to be okay."

"We are going to be picking up the pieces together."

Chuck said to her.

While he parked the car in the driveway.

Took her hand. As they got out of the car.

He opened the front door.

Closing it behind them.

As the mother and daughter reunited.

"Suzie Q." I said wrapping my arms around her tightly.

Tears falling from eyes.

While I heard, her say my name and tell me she loved me.

Hugging me back.

Not wanting to put her down.

But knowing I couldn't hold her all night.

Letting her go. As she started to go back to her room.

Taking my hand. Following her lead.

While we laid together. Wrapped in my arms.

As she laid her head down.

"We're going to be with Uncle Chuck and Henry for a while."

I told her as she looked at me.

"Is that mean man gone now.?"

She asked me.

"Yes."

"He's going to go where all monsters go."

"You're safe we both are."

"So close your eyes and sleep."

"I told her."

As she paused as looked away then back at me.

"What is it baby.?"

I ask her.

Stroking her hair.

While her face turned to me.

Our eyes locked.

"What about daddy.?"

"If we're here he's going to be all alone."

She said her voice full of worry.

Her heart almost too big.

Sighing as I paused and thought.

Then answered.

"Daddy will be okay."

"There are things going on."

"That I don't want you to worry about."

"You will see your dad."

"I know how close you are to him."

I tell her.

"But mommy I don't want you to feel bad."

She said.

looking at me.

Her eyes filling with tears.

"I love you."

"And your daddy loves you."

"You are your parents."

"You will never have to choose between us."

"You get us both."

"If you have any more questions ask me.

I told her.

And she did just that.

Until she fell asleep.

I then carefully got out of her arms.

Kissing her cheek.

Opening the door as I closed the door behind me.

Walking out into the living room.

To see Chuck waiting for me.

"You didn't have to wait up."

I told him.

As he looked up at me.

Giving me a glass.

"Want a drink.?"

"I would say almost dying."

"Allows you to drown your sorrows."

He said.

"Yea I would like one."

"And 2 more."

I said smiling at him.

As I took the glass.

"I wouldn't be a gentleman."

"If I let a lady drink alone."

Chuck said as he got out another glass.

Pouring some for himself.

"Have you thought at all about what comes next."

"For you and Nate.?" He asks me.

As I turned towards him.

Pausing to take a drink as I answered.

"I love him."

"He's my husband."

"But I don't know."

"How I feel about him and the both of us."

"Our marriage and relationship."

"Feels broken and like I never knew him at all."

"I expected to much."

"And you know what they say about expectation."

"Never expect anything that you never get disappointed."

"I'm not angry or disappointment."

"I'm just drained emotionally and mentally."

"If I could un see that video."

"Of him and Blair then I would."

"But then I have to question."

"If I never saw it."

"Would he have told me about it.?"

"Was being with her what he wanted and needed."

"But didn't want to tell me because he didn't want to."

"Reveal just how unhappy in our life he had become.?"

"It's me." "I am obviously completely unlovable."

I said taking a breath.

Finishing my drink.

Pouring another one.

"You are from that."

"And honestly I believe he loved you and still does."

Chuck said to her.

"Right now I can't care about his feelings."

"Or my own."

"My focus is Suzie."

"That is all I can see right now."

Serena said looking to him.

"I get that."

"As far as I'm concerned."

"The interactions between the two of you."

"Are for Suzie alone."

"If you want to talk about the two of you."

"That will be up to the two of you."

"When that happens."

"I'm on your side here."

"Even if I don't cut him off completely."

Chuck said.

"I appreciate it."

"But I will be okay."

Serena said to him.

"You get some sleep."

"In the morning."

"We will figure it what happens next."

Serena said.

Waving goodbye.

As she watched him walk up the stairs.

Looking at her wedding ring.

She sighed and shook her head.

"I was right Nate."

"Love is a myth."

She said.

Walking into the guest room.

Closing the door behind her.

…


	26. Chapter 26

**Love. Left. Behind.**

 **Chapter 26**

" _She's not going to let go until she sees for herself that there's nothing left to hold on to."_

Months Later

After almost a year. Suzie and I have found a new home.

About a block away from our old neighborhood.

Which Suzie has grown to love.

Meeting new kids. While still being able to go to her school.

And stay close to her old friends.

She sees her dad plenty of times during the week.

He takes her to school one half of the week. And I take her the other half.

Weekends we spend time together as a family.

It put's Suzie at ease to see the both of us together.

Doing the same activities, we always did.

When she has school events we meet up and watch her.

Then celebrate afterwards. And she goes home with either me or him.

Depending on what day and time of week it is.

Ben is dead. From what the reports said.

Other inmates killed him.

As for Blair, she's serving her time.

And seems to be staying out of trouble.

That is from Chuck's recount of the one visit he had with her.

They don't keep in touch.

As for Henry, he calls her and has visited.

But Chuck doesn't want to overwhelm him.

And I get it. I would be the exact same way.

Chuck and I are even closer now.

Which I didn't think was possible.

Suzie and Henry are extremely close.

And that is really comforting to know.

As for Nate and I.

When we aren't doing, something involving Suzie.

The exchanges between us are short and very on the surface.

We haven't talked in depth or at all about everything that happened.

When I see sometimes. I get this pull in my chest.

Like my heart is breaking into pieces.

I asked Chuck to draw up divorce papers for me.

He did after putting it off for a while.

And all they do is sit there.

In my drawer.

I looked over them once.

When I first got them.

By the time I reached the end I was in tears.

Deciding then to not look at them again.

Unless I was planning to fill it out and file.

Chuck took both Suzie and Henry to get some dessert.

We had just eaten dinner at Chuck's place.

Me, Nate, The kids, Doretha.

The idea was very spur of the moment.

I think he sensed a feeling of need in the air.

And took the opportunity.

To give Nate and I some space to talk.

So here I am. Back at my house.

Nate and I staring at each other.

I used to wonder what he thought when he looked at me.

Now I find myself wondering what he thinks.

When I look at him.

Taking a breath.

Rubbing my hands together.

It's colder in here then I thought it would be.

Turning my head towards him.

As I notice him starting to speak.

"I miss you."

"I miss us and being together as a family."

"I know that it was my mistakes that drove us to this point."

"But I've been working on myself."

"During my free time."

"I talk to a therapist."

"And I've made a lot of progress."

"And I really see a difference in who I am and who I want to be."

Nate said to her.

Putting her hand on top of his.

While she spoke.

"I'm happy for you."

"I still see my therapist as well."

"She's been a great help to me."

"It's good you're getting help to be the best version of yourself possible."

"I wish you all the happiness in the world."

I said looking at him.

Ignoring the ache in my chest.

As we locked eyes.

"Now when it comes to the two of us."

He began to say.

The way he looked at me.

Caused tears to well up in my eyes.

"I was wrong and I hurt you."

"More than I ever thought was possible."

"That will always be the biggest mistake I've ever made."

"That night being with her."

"Meant nothing to me."

"None of it ever mattered."

"Until you."

He said putting his hand on my face.

I could feel his emotion.

His eyes. The gentleness of his hand on my face.

"How can I trust you.?"

"With my heart and my body."

"After I saw the pictures."

"I watched that video."

"Those images are burned into my mind."

"The way you looked at her."

"And touched her."

"It seemed like that was exactly where you wanted to be."

I said.

Taking a breath.

As I wiped my eyes.

"I was home waiting for you."

"It was my own fault."

"For believing in you and me."

"Thinking I was deserving of any of it."

"I don't trust you."

"When it comes to what you tell me."

"Or what you do."

"Because if you loved me at all."

"You would of left that night."

"And told me what she said to you."

"Instead you gave into her."

"Which I think is exactly what you wanted to do."

"For a long time."

"But you were stuck with me."

"So you couldn't act on it."

"When the opportunity finally presented itself."

"You went for it."

"I'm sorry."

"For holding you back."

"Me and my inability to love and let someone in."

"See me raw and untethered."

"Changed because of you."

"And I wish that I could forgive you."

"And move forward."

"But I can't."

"It physically hurts to look at you."

"Do you have any idea.?"

"How sad that makes me.?"

"I always felt safe with you."

"Simply being in your presence or wrapped in your arms."

"But now I feel empty."

"My heart is broken and I can't piece it together anymore."

"I trust myself either."

"Loving you hurts and scares me."

"And I can't and won't risk it again."

"I am done with love period."

Serena said.

Wiping the tears from her eyes.

"You don't mean that."

"S."

"I know you and you know me."

"We fit and make sense."

"I'm in love with you."

Looking into your eyes.

"I can see you're that you're scared."

"And that you're in love with me too."

"Honestly tell me that none of that matters."

"We should walk away from each other."

"And never look back."

"Ignore the connection, friendship, and love."

"That obvious anytime we are in the same room."

"Tell me that you want to me go."

"Everything that I'm telling you."

"Right now isn't effecting you."

"Seeping into your skin and rebuilding your heart."

"Because you know that I'm telling you the truth."

"I love you."

"With every part of who I am."

"Who I was."

"And who I have yet to be."

"You are the only person on earth."

"Who knows every secret, broken piece, vulnerable side and moment."

"I've ever had and experienced." "You know every story and scar."

"The times my heart broke and how it got pieced back together."

"Why that is because it started with you."

"I knew I was worth giving a chance to."

"Because for the first time in my life I saw myself."

"Through someone else's eyes.

"And saw pure love looking back at me."

"I wanted and needed to try."

"Savor the reflection."

"The feeling of safety, strength, and understanding."

"Made me feel free enough to let you see me."

"And in return."

"I saw you."

"And our souls intertwined."

"My heart was not mine from that moment on."

Nate said.

Wiping his eyes.

His heart pounding.

His heart aching with the love for her."

"He had yet to fully express."

Feeling his face turn.

As he felt her hand on him.

Their eyes now locked.

His words filling her.

The aching parts of her.

Desperate to cling onto the hope she found in them.

Taking his hand.

Gently running her hand on his face.

Wiping his tears.

Gasping for breath as she tried to speak.

Trying to voice what she wanted or needed.

Instead she looked at his eyes.

Then his lips.

Craving the feeling of want and hunger and need.

She remembered. When they're lips touched.

Tears blurring her vision as she got up.

"I should tell you to go."

"But I don't want you to."

I said.

Taking his hand.

…

 **Author's Note: The push and pull. The love and hurt. These two are everything to me. Let me know what you think happens next in the reviews.**


	27. Chapter 27

**Love. Left. Behind.**

 **Chapter 27**

" _The feelings that hurt most, the emotions that sting most, are those that are absurd - The longing for impossible things_

Looking at him. Taking a breath. As she let go of his hand and started to speak.

"Tonight was needed and hopefully when we're not running high on emotion."

"We can try talking again.

Serena said facing him.

"Your right we should give each other a chance to absorb everything."

"I'm going to go now."

"Goodnight S."

"See you if not tomorrow then the day after."

Nate said as he headed for the door.

"Bye Nate."

Serena said.

Nate headed out the door and got into his car.

Watching as he drove away.

Her heart beat at last started to slow.

Everything he said would replay in her mind the rest of the night.

She began to wonder. What would have happened.

If she hadn't stopped herself and him.

Well she knew what the result of the past encounters with them had lead.

Emotions high and both of them. Lose themselves in the others.

They're happiness short lived.

Something or someone.

Creating cracks and deeper wedges between them.

To the point where the only way they would be able to reconnect.

Was by leaving.

Hearing the sound of the door. Took her out of her thoughts.

Suzie walked up to her.

Straight into her arms.

As Serena kissed the top of her head.

Following in after her.

Tucking her in.

And reading her favorite story.

The book her mother had given her.

On her birthday.

About her parents and their story.

Leading up to their wedding and her being born.

Looking up at her mother.

Suzie asked a question.

Tapping the sides of the book with her fingers.

While she looked at her mom in the eyes.

"Mommy.?"

Suzie said.

"Yes Suzie."

Serena said smiling.

"Are you and daddy getting a divorce.?" She asked curiously.

Taken by surprise by this question.

Serena took a breath and put the book down.

Looking into her daughter's eyes.

As she attempted to answer this question honestly.

"Why would you ask that baby.?' Serena said looking to her.

"Well before you and daddy and me."

"All lived together."

"Then after the bad man and aunt Blair went away."

"We didn't go back with daddy."

"Instead you bought a new house."

"And daddy visits but he doesn't stay here."

"And you and daddy don't kiss or hold hands."

"Like you did before."

"Why don't you and daddy love each other anymore mommy.?"

Suzie asked her mother.

Serena head was spinning.

She had no idea.

That Suzie had been paying so much attention.

To what was going on.

And felt like it was only fair to be honest with her.

She was smarter and wiser. Even at her tender age.

Holding her hand.

Serena started to speak.

"Me and daddy love each other."

"There is a long history between us."

"And sometimes adults make choices."

"That lead to mistakes which cause things to be said and hurt to be caused."

"Which doesn't mean that they instantly stop caring for each other."

"And can't be the best of friends."

"It's just in certain situations."

"People come to the realization that they are better off."

"Not being married anymore."

"As sad and heartbreaking the situation can be."

"It ends up the right decision."

"For everyone."

Serena said looking back at her daughter.

"To answer your question."

"It is nothing you ever need to think or worry about."

"You are the best parts of us."

"And will forever be our main focus."

Serena said as she hugged her tightly.

Kissing her forehead.

"Even when I'm older and have my own family and house."

"Like you." Suzie says smiling.

As she pulls the covers over herself.

"Especially then and knowing your daddy that won't be many years." Serena said smiling back at her.

"Goodnight I love you."

Serena said to her.

While she began to walk out of the room.

"I love you too mommy." Suzie said.

As she closed her eyes.

Serena turning out the light. Closing the door behind her.

Taking a breath. Closing her eyes.

Preparing herself to walk into the living room.

Taking small steps.

The light guiding her eyes. Looking up.

Seeing Chuck sent a feeling of relief through her.

"So why I'm here."

"Aside from dropping off Suzie."

"Is because Nate sent me a text."

"Saying you two talked."

"And to make sure you were okay."

"So how are you sis.?"

Chuck asked.

Serena taking a seat next to him.

As she started to talk.

"I'm confused."

"I just need more time."

"Before I decide anything."

"Neither of us can deny that we love each other."

"So much it's ingrained in us."

"But what if we're holding onto the past."

"And the present people we've become."

"Are strangers or not in love."

"But best friends."

Serena said.

looking away.

Her eyes burning with unshed tears.

Putting his hand on her shoulder.

As he started to speak.

"The only person who can answer those questions."

"Are you and Nate."

"If you want I could stay while you go over there.?"

Chuck suggested.

"Your way too good to me Chuck."

"I'll talk to Nate tomorrow while Suzie is at school."

"Go home to that beautiful son of yours."

"See you soon brother."

Serena said.

Hugging him.

"See you then sis."

Chuck said.

Hugging her back.

While he walked out the door.

Turning off the lights.

As she headed upstairs for bed.

Hours later

"Thanks for meeting me Nate."

"I know this wasn't planned at all."

"I just had these questions."

"I couldn't get out of my head."

Serena said.

looking to him.

So, happy to have been back here.

This beach held memories for the both of them.

"No problem Serena."

"I'm curious to hear what the questions are."

Nate said to her.

"It's about us and our relationship."

Serena began to say.

"I know we both poured a lot of feelings over our last conversation."

"But I honestly just need some clarity."

Serena said wiping her eyes.

"The future of our relationship and this marriage."

"I don't want either of us to feel stuck."

"And simply in this marriage out of obligation."

Serena said.

looking up at him.

"I know neither do I."

"That is not the case at all for me."

"I want to spend the rest of our life together."

"As a whole family.

"Without the divide there is now."

Nate said looking at her.

"How do you feel.?"

"About us and where you see things going in the future.?"

Nate asked her.

"It would be so easy to walk away."

"If I didn't love you so much."

"But that wouldn't be honest"

"I'm in love with you."

"If I could fall out of love or hate you."

"At least then that would make sense."

"I'm scared of how vulnerable you make me."

"And how much I just want you."

"You can't just turn your heart off."

"Especially when all you want and have ever needed."

"Is right there in front of you."

Serena said looking to him.

"But you can't trust me with your heart."

"And all the other most sacred parts of you."

"And I understand that."

"I betrayed your trust and your belief and illusion."

"Of me was shattered."

"I would do anything."

"I could think of to show you that."'

"The only person I've ever needed."

"Wanted and loved."

"Was the woman I married."

Nate said to her.

"The other night."

"It felt like you didn't really want me to go."

"But I didn't want to question and push you."

"If I was reading that wrong."

"Then forget I even brought it up."

Nate said to her.

Looking to him.

Serena started to speak.

"You weren't wrong."

"I wanted to finish talking and maybe see where things would go afterwards."

Serena said.

Looking away. Feeling embarrassed at her honesty.

Feeling his hand go on hers.

She turned to him.

"You were not alone in those thoughts."

"I wanted nothing more than to shut the world out."

"And just be with you."

"But I also know I couldn't and would not make it seem."

"That there was anything behind me being honest and open with you."

"You deserved that and more."

Nate said.

His hand touching her face.

"I want to try trusting you."

"With my heart, body, soul."

She said.

Putting her hand on top of his.

"They're eyes locked.

"Does this feel like a mistake or like we are doing something wrong.?"

Nate asked her.

"No not at all."

Serena said to him.

"It feels like I'm finally coming home.'

Serena said.

Kissing him.

As he took her into his arms.

…


	28. Chapter 28

**Love. Left. Behind.**

 **Chapter 28**

" _They seemed to be together as one, somewhere else in a place that was lighter than air."_

"I am so in love with you."

He said.

Taking her face in his hands.

The warmth and vulnerability.

In her face.

Made his heart break wide open.

The walls he had hidden behind.

Fell.

As he kissed her.

Once they broke apart.

She caught her breath. Blushing as she faced him.

Taking her hand. Holding it securely.

Feeling her ease under his touch.

I couldn't fight it.

The emotional doors I had hidden behind.

He had every key to and opened it.

With every word. Kiss. And touch.

My heart ached for him.

Being in any close proximity to him.

Sent me into a longing and needing.

That I wouldn't be able to break free of until he left.

He was a part of me.

Memories from my past. The beauty of our present.

The unknown of the future.

All bearable and because I know that he'll be there.

To face it with me.

He's my best friend.

The keeper of my heart, needs, desires.

He knows me in ways I have yet to fully discover in myself.

My home is with him. And finally, neither of us are running or denying.

We are simply loving. And I need nothing more that.

Shutting the door behind us.

While he looks at me.

Simply touching me.

Taking in the sight of me.

As if it was the first time.

We've ever been alone.

His gentleness and carefulness.

Made me feel wanted and cared for.

It was as if he wanted to make it.

Last as long as possible.

Taking off my clothing.

Piece by piece until I could barely keep my eyes open.

Craving his touch and his whispered words.

Reopening my eyes. As I quickly took off.

The last of his clothing.

Wanting to savor that look in his eyes.

It was one I had never seen.

Bringing my hand to his face.

Looking into his eyes.

I saw tears.

Bringing him closer to me.

As I kissed him.

While he laid me on the bed.

The softness and comfort.

Feeling of safeness and love.

Heightening as he turned my face towards him.

Our eyes locked.

"I love you so much."

He said as his voice broke.

Feeling emotion overcome me.

At the sight of this vulnerability.

I almost couldn't speak.

"I love you too."

I say gently.

As he leaned down.

Reconnecting our lips.

Intertwining our fingers together.

Love taking the place of our words and actions.

The sound of the waves crashing around us.

Outside the house.

The sun setting into the sky.

..

 **Author's Note: I'm in love with these beautiful broken people.**

 **Who have found a home in each other. These story is reaching its end point. Let me know your thoughts on this chapter. The story as a whole.**

 **And what you would like to see next.**

 **In the reviews. Thank you for your support and comments and just general enjoyment in my stories.**


	29. Chapter 29

**Love. Left. Behind.**

 **Chapter 29**

" _Home wasn't a set house, or a single town on a map. It was wherever the people who loved you were, whenever you were together. Not a place, but a moment, and then another, building on each other like bricks to create a solid shelter that you take with you for your entire life._

In the morning.

The window was cracked open. Bringing in the smell.

Of the outside and the calmness of the waves.

The warmth of the sun. The sound of birds chirping.

As I ran my fingers on her back. Wanting to keep her even closer to me.

Even though she was laying in my arms. I had yet to ever feel.

Anything but safety and love. When I looked into her eyes. Held her hand.

Making her laugh. Over some comment. I had made. Her face lighting up. Whenever she looked in my direction. Last night cleared the way.

For the beginnings of a new phase in our relationship. An unread chapter in our marriage.

I wanted to absorb every second and pack it away. So, years into the future.

When we were older. And life had begun to lose its color we would be able to look back on our younger days.

We can remember this day and smile with fondness.

As I held her hand and she would look at me smiling in the way she always did.

Then I would say. "Remember our night at this beach.?"

I would ask her. Staring into my eyes.

Then she would say "Of course I do."

"We fell in love all over again."

"I couldn't possibly forget it."

She would say.

leaning over as she kissed me.

While we sat side by side.

Watching the sun go down.

The image of that future alone.

Sent a smile to my face.

That wouldn't leave.

"What are you smiling about Nate.?" I ask him.

Looking up. As I kissed him.

Linking our fingers together.

"The future." He said hopefully.

"I've been thinking."

I tell him.

As he faces me.

"I'm listening." He says smiling at me.

"I want to us to get a brand-new house."

"A fresh start for us."

"Nothing littered with pain, heartbreak, and sadness."

"Just family, friends, and new memories."

I say. looking at him.

"That sounds perfect S."

He says to me.

"But I was thinking along with the new place a new location as well."

"I tell him as I continue."

"New Hope Pennsylvania." "It's a small town."

"We would be only an hour and a half out of New York."

"Older houses, Narrow streets, Cobblestone alleys, locally run restaurants, And so much more."

"The more I looked into it.

The more excited I got."

"I could picture us there."

"Me and you and Suzie."

"And our future kids."

"Living this beautiful life together."

"Away from the hustle and bustle of the city."

"Which I've loved but I'm ready to move on."

"And see what else is out there in the world."

I told him.

"Chuck and Henry could visit us as much as possible."

"Nate what are you thinking.?"

I ask him. Curious as to where his mind was.

Taking a breath. As he spoke.

"I've never lived anywhere but New York."

"But from what you've told me and the excitement and research you've started."

"I'm more than willing to take the chance and start over there together."

"We need to start house hunting and tell Suzie when we find something."

He said to me.

"We're doing this then.?" I asked him excitedly.

"We are and it's going to be good."

"This is the right choose for us."

"And the future of our family."

Nate said to me.

Leaning over kissing me.

As he started to head for the bathroom.

"You coming or not.?" He asked me smiling.

"Always." I say taking his hand.

Smiling as I kissed him.

Closing the door behind us.

Hours later

Holding hands as we walked to Chuck's door.

Letting go.

As I knocked on the door.

It then quickly opened.

Chuck behind it.

Letting us through the door.

Closing it behind us.

As he stood to the side.

Suzie coming up.

And looking at us both.

"Mommy and daddy."

She said surprised.

"What's going on.?"

She asked curious.

"Nothing Suzie Q."

"We just decided to both pick you up today."

Nate said looking to her.

"Okay I'm going to get some cookies from Doretha and say goodbye to Henry."

"I'll right back." Suzie said as she ran back into the kitchen across the hall.

Waiting until she went through the doors.

Only then did Chuck start to speak.

"So as much as I love you both and like seeing you together."

"I know there is more to the story here."

"So you can start talking anytime."

Chuck said looking at them both.

"Where were you both last night.?"

"I called and texted both of you."

"And no response given everything that has happened."

"I was worried."

Chuck said honestly.

Looking to Serena and Nate.

Putting her hand on his.

Serena's face softened.

"We're both really sorry."

"Neither of us meant to worry you."

Serena said apologetically.

"Yea it won't happen again."

"We know how much you care and how important we are to you."

"Next time you will get a text, call, and advanced notice."

Nate said looking to Chuck.

"Thank you."

"I appreciate that."

Then he smiled.

Pausing as he looked at them both.

"So you were together then.?"

Chuck asked.

Looking at them both.

"Yea we were at the beach."

"You know the reception there can be really spotty at times."

Serena said turning to Nate.

"We didn't plan to be there long."

"But had things to clear up."

"That took longer than expected"

"And we ended up spending the night."

Nate said.

Looking back at Serena.

"Guess you both were feeling nostalgic."

"I get it."

"That beach has very fond memories."

"I'm just surprised I mean last I talked to both of you."

"Things were pretty intense and up in the air."

"In regards to your relationship."

"And it seems like in a span of a day and matter of hours."

"The two of you are completely in synch."

"And haven't left each other's side since you got here."

Chuck said to them.

"How exactly did that work at the beach house.?"

"It only has one bed and the couch that you both insisted on keeping."

Chuck asked.

"We managed okay."

Nate said.

Looking to Serena.

"Yea Nate made sure I was fine."

"By the end of the night we were both exhausted."

"You know how he likes to talk about memories."

"We slept really well."

Serena said looking back at Nate.

"Glad to hear it."

Chuck said smiling at them.

As Suzie came back down.

Taking both the hands of her parents.

Looking over at Chuck and speaking.

"Thank you so much uncle Chuck."

"Tell Doretha the cookies were super yummy."

"See you later."

She said happily.

"Anytime Suzie Q."

"You are a part of this family."

"Until next time."

He said smiling back at her.

As the three of them.

Walked out the door together.

And into the car.

Shortly after driving away.

"Those two aren't telling me something."

"I know it."

Chuck thought as he headed to his office.

…


	30. Chapter 30

**Love. Left. Behind.**

 **Chapter 30**

" _A daughter is a rainbow - a curve of light through scattered mist that lifts the spirit with her prismatic presence. Is a shadow - a reminder of something brilliant ducking out of sight, too easily drawn away. She is an aria, swelling within the concern chamber, an echo reverberating across a miniature sea. She is a secret, whispered, a hint of what we cannot know until it finds us. She is a sliver of her father, a shard of her mother. A daughter is a promise, kept."_

Getting out of the car. As Suzie got in the middle.

Holding out both her hands. Looking at her parents.

One side then the other smiling.

While they each took her hand. Taking it securely.

As they walked. Into the house.

Nate opening the door.

Smiling as he watched Suzie walk inside.

Look around. And say. "I missed it here."

Wrapping her arms around herself.

While she took steps then paused.

Trying to notice if anything had changed since the last time.

She had been there.

Relaxing when she realized nothing had.

It was as warm and cozy. As she remembered.

Like her robe her mom had made her.

When she put it on. It felt like a hug. Every time.

Looking back at her parents.

She smiled and said.

"I'm going to my room!"

"Are you two going to be okay without me.?"

She asked them.

"Yes we will somehow manage."

"You go on and get reacquainted with your room."

Serena said.

"We will let you know when dinner is ready."

Nate said smiling at her.

Satisfied with that answer. Suzie went up the stairs.

Running into her room. Closing the door carefully.

Behind her.

As Nate and Serena looked at each other and laughed and smiled.

Then they said in unison. "She gets that from you."

They said as caught their breath.

And held hands. While they Looked at each other.

"Hi." Serena said softly.

"Hey." Nate said.

Touching her face.

With his hand.

"Follow me."

Nate said to her.

Smiling as she held onto his hand.

Curious as to where he wanted to take her.

The couple walked past the living room.

And the kitchen. Nate slid open the door.

Leading to the backyard.

Closing it as Serena walked out next him.

Rejoining hands as he leads her over. To the Chairs.

That gave a nice view of the skyline.

As they sat down next to each other.

Looking into her eyes.

While he began to speak.

"It was here."

"Years ago while we were cuddled up."

"On one of these chairs."

"As you laid in my arms."

"And we dreamed about the future."

"That you told me you were pregnant."

"And I remember feeling this rush of want and this consuming need to protect and give you as much love and understanding as I could."

"Which has only grown and developed into me being the father I am now."

"And hopefully the husband you know and trust and can continue to build a life with."

"I find myself in disbelief of the love and beauty I've been given."

"Between you and Suzie." I have so much that I have yet to figure out."

"Why I deserve either of you."

"But looking into your eyes right now."

"I can clearly see as much I fought against it."

"And you attempted to push away."

"Our love is more powerful than either of us can control."

Nate said to her.

While he took her hand sliding her wedding ring off her finger.

Her breath catching. As she watched him.

Turn from her and slip a new ring on her finger.

Tears welling up in her eyes.

Pausing as he took a breath.

Looking up at her.

"I promise to love and honor and protect."

"You and this family."

"With every breath and beat of my heart."

"For as long as I live."

"To never again make you waiver."

"In your love and trust and belief in me."

"You are my best friend."

"The love of my life."

"My soulmate."

"The woman who taught me how to love."

"And why and how it makes you a better person."

"Let this ring and my words."

"Be my vow to you and the start of the rest of our life together."

Nate said leaning over as he kissed her.

"I love you so much."

He said to her as they broke apart.

"I love you too."

Serena said wiping her eyes.

As she looked at the ring.

Then back at him.

Touching his face as she looked into his eyes.

While she started to talk.

"Take me into our bedroom and lock the door."

Serena said as she kissed him.

Taking her hand as they walked back inside.

Then up the stairs.

Quietly checking in on Suzie who was busy playing.

While they gently closed back the door.

And started in the direction of their room.

Once they got inside.

Nate closed and locked the door behind them.

As he took her into his arms.

Kissing her gently.

While she attempted to bring him closer to her.

Breaking the kiss.

Giving them the chance to catch their breath.

As he spoke.

"We have to be quiet."

"Suzie is doors away."

Nate said.

Touching her face.

"I know and I will try."

"But right now."

"I just need you to kiss me."

She said.

Reconnecting their lips.

Pulling him closer to her.

While he began to take off her shirt.

…

Bored of her dolls and her drawing.

Suzie decided to head downstairs to the living room.

And watch some TV.

Heading down the stairs step by step.

Just as she was about to sit on the sofa.

She heard a knock at the door.

Locking through the peep hole.

As she asked who it was.

The person on the other side.

Answering right away.

"It's me Suzie Q."

Chuck said happily.

As Suzie quickly opened the door.

"Uncle Chuck." Suzie said hugging him tightly.

As she closed the door.

"Can you tell your mommy that I'm here.?"

Chuck asked her.

"Sure." Suzie said as she walked out the steps quickly.

And stood outside the bedroom door.

"Mommy.!." "Uncle Chuck is here to see you."

Suzie yelled. As she went back downstairs.

"I told her."

Suzie said.

"Thank you sweetheart."

Chuck said as he went and sat down next to her.

On the couch.

In the bedroom.

"Why is he here.?" Serena said.

As she attempted to catch her breath.

And put back on her clothes.

"He probably wants more information on why."  
"We were acting so close and everything the other day."

Nate said as he finished putting on the rest of his outfit.

"You go down there talk to him."

"While I clean up in here."

Nate said to her.

"Okay." Serena said as she kissed him.

Walking out the room and down the stairs.

Chuck getting up as he spotted her.

"Sis." Chuck said.

As he saw her.

Hugging her lightly.

"I'll let you two talk."

Suzie said.

As she went into the backyard.

Serena taking her seat.

Chuck looking at her.

As he started to talk.

"Are you okay.?"

"You're all flustered and out of breath."

Chuck said with concern.

Taking a breath as she answered.

"I'm great." Serena said.

Clearing her throat and smoothing her hair.

"I was just in the shower and kind of had to rush out of here."

Serena said smiling.

"Sorry to interrupt you."

Chuck said.

"It's alright Chuck."

Serena said looking to him.

"I came here because I wanted to make sure you were alright."

"And to ask how your feeling in regards to Nate and you."

"I mean is the divorce going forward or not.?"

He asked her.

"No it's not."

Serena said.

"Really why not.?" Chuck asked.

Serena taken aback by his reaction.

Spoke again.

"Because I've had time to rethink and truly understand what I want."

She said to him.

"I know you have a history with him."

"And you have Suzie."

"I just don't want to see you hurt again."

"You've already been through so much."

Chuck said looking to her.

Just then Nate started walking downstairs.

"Nate what are you doing here.?"

Chuck asked him.

"Visiting Suzie."

"And spending some time with Serena."

Nate said looking to her.

"Listen you are my best friend and I love you."

"Serena is my sister and the closest family I have."

"So if you think I'm just going to sit around and watch you."

"Break her heart and tear this family apart again."

"Then you are completely mistaken."

"If you do anything like you've done in the past again."

"Resulting in her being hurt in anyway."

"I will take it personally."

"And not only be on her side."

"But you will lose me."

"For good."

Chuck said looking to him.

…


	31. Chapter 31

**Love. Left. Behind**

 **Chapter 31**

" _who knows you better than your own brother?"_

"Chuck I know that I made."

"Completely selfish decisions."

"And Was wrong on every level."

"But we've moved on from that."

"Serena has forgiven me."

Nate said. Looking to him.

"Really." He said looking to Serena.

Then returning his focus to Nate.

"That is her choice."

"As for me I'm still trying to wrap my mind."

"Around how you could have been."

"So unbelievably gullible."

"And how not for a second."

"Did you think of Serena who was waiting for you."

"At home."

"And your daughter."

"Who both were victims in this insanity."

"You had no problem believing Blair's garbage."

"Because in the end you got what you wanted."

"Which was another chance to live in the past."

"You never let go of."

"Careless and wreck less,

"You can't deny you wanted It to happen."

"When you find out that your wife and daughter were in danger."

"Where the hell were you.?"

"In bed sleeping off and showering away your affair."

"How would you have faced Suzie again.?"

"If because of your actions her mother was killed.?"

"You have no answer for me do you.?"

Chuck said looking at him.

While he wiped his eyes.

"Stop it!" "Chuck please!" Serena said.

Wiping her eyes. As she took a breath.

Putting her hand on his arm.

"Nate felt and feels guilty enough!"

"Without you piling onto it."

Serena said.

Her eyes burning with unshed tears.

Turning to face Serena.

As he wiped a tear falling from his eyes.

Pausing as he spoke.

"How can you forgive him.?"

"He could have taken you away from all of us."

"What would I have had left.?"

Chuck asked her as his voice broke.

"I love him Chuck."

"Okay that's it."

Serena said.

Wiping her eyes.

"I love you."

"But I don't need you to protect me anymore."

"I'm safe."

Serena said.

looking him in the eyes.

"That is never going to happen."

Chuck said. looking back at her.

"We have been through too much."

"And have way too many years of friendship."

"To allow things to be left this way."

"Chuck come on."

Nate said to him.

"We don't have time to waste especially."

"With everything that is going to be happening."

Nate said.

Causing Chuck to turn around. Facing him.

"Everything like what.?"

Chuck asked.

"We're moving out of New York."

"And we are back together."

Nate said.

The weight of the news.

Caused him to pause. Close his eyes.

And take a breath.

Before he could respond.

Turning to Serena

"Congratulations."

He said hollowly.

As he headed for the door.

Nate went to go check on Suzie.

While Serena went after Chuck.

"Chuck wait!"

Serena said.

Wiping her falling tears.

"I was going to tell you."

"I was just waiting for the right time."

"Chuck I need you."

"Don't let us be apart like this."

"I don't want to leave."

"Knowing we're not as close as we should be."

Serena said.

Hopeful she could get him to keep talking to her.

Realizing her words fell on deaf ears.

Watching as he got into his car.

And left.

Unable to control her emotions.

While she slowly walked back into the house.

Closing the door behind her.

As Nate wrapped his arms. Around her.

While she sobbed into his chest.

"It's going to be okay."

Nate said attempting to comfort her.

"I can't leave it like this between us."

"I'm going to go over to his house."

"And talk to him."

Serena said.

looking him in the eyes.

"I understand when you get back."

"We'll have dinner."

"Then start looking into houses for the move."

Nate said.

leaning down as he kissed her.

Serena then headed out the door.

And into her car.

…

Driving down and inside streets.

I just didn't understand him.

Why was he behaving this way.?

I would have thought.

He would be happy for us.

Instead he's the complete opposite.

And I feel like I don't know who this guy is.

Sighing. As I pulled into his driveway.

Seeing his car on the other side.

Walking up the stairs and knocking on the door.

A few times. Hopeful he would answer.

Eventually he did. Leaving the door open.

As I walked inside. Closing it behind me.

Following him as into the living room.

Watching as he poured a drink. From his drink cart.

Bringing the cup to his lips as he closed his eyes.

Putting the cup back down. It now empty.

Looking at me. As I stared at him.

Hurt and confused as to who he was becoming.

He sat down on the couch.

Then laid down.

His eyes staring up at the ceiling.

As he began to speak.

"If you're just going to stand there and gawk."

"I might as well offer you a drink."

"If you decline then feel free to leave."

He said coldly.

The lack of emotion in his voice.

Sending a chill up my spine.

"Chuck what is wrong.?"

"How could you possibly be upset about this.?"

I ask him.

Emotion causing my voice to shake.

"It was you who encouraged me to talk with him."

"And not to rush into anything final."

"Until everything was out in the open."

"We got through it and are in a better place."

"Why can't you see that he's what I want and who I need."

"And the more important question is why are suddenly being so distant and unfeeling."

"Just because we are moving doesn't mean you're going to just be cut off from us."

"We are only going to be an hour and a half away."

"You and Henry are always welcomed to visit and stay when you come out there."

"Chuck will you look at me please.?"

"I can't stand you being like this."

"We have always been close and had each other."

"To talk to and confide in."

"You know you can tell me anything that is going on."

Serena said.

looking to him.

While he continued to lay there.

And not speak to her.

"I'm leaving Chuck."

"When you want to talk."

"You know my number and where I am."

Serena said.

Looking back once more.

As she walked out the door.

Getting back into her car and going home.

Chuck wiped his eyes. Got up slowly.

As he went to the answering machine.

Pressing play.

The message and voice behind it.

Filing the room.

"Hi Chuck."

"Can believe it.?"

"I'm officially a free woman."

"And now we can be a real family again."

"I've missed you."

"I've changed Chuck."

"You'll see."

The message ending.

Chuck threw the machine against the wall.

The message had been in my machine.

For days or weeks now.

I don't know.

How I'm going to feel seeing her again.

A knock at the door.

Amplifies my nerves.

As I walk over and open it carefully.

Standing in front of me.

Is the woman had loved so much.

At a point. If I'm going to be honest.

I never stopped loving her.

As insane as it sounds.

Seeing her now.

In front of me.

I have to remind myself to breath.

As she looks at me.

Walking inside.

Closing the door behind her.

Wrapping her arms around me.

Like she had simply been on vacation.

Looking her in the eyes.

I see glimpses of the woman I thought I knew.

"Chuck."

She said softly.

"I'm sorry."

"For everything and how I hurt you and Henry."

She says.

Her eyes glistening with unshed tears.

"I love you."

She says touching my face.

"All you know how to do is destroy."

I tell her. As I begin to walk away.

Thankful Henry is at a sleepover.

She then grabs my hand.

Pulling me closer to her.

Our eyes locked.

She leans in and kisses me.

I should pull away but I don't.

Kissing her back.

Desperate to feel anything that wasn't pain.

…


	32. Chapter 32

**Love. Left. Behind.**

 **Chapter 32**

" _You couldn't just pick and choose at will when someone depended on you, or loved you. It wasn't like a light switch, easy to turn on or off. If you were in, you were in. Out, you were out."_

In the morning

It was so much easier when she was gone.

I could replay our moments and memories.

Safely inside my mind. For my own comfort.

The times when we were happy and the only time my heart hurt.

Was from happiness.

There was no running from this.

She was here in my life.

Right next to me in my bed.

The truth was displayed all over the floor.

Our clothing in various areas.

Not wanting to think of the look in her eyes.

The softness in her face.

The pureness of her smile.

As I laid her down on the bed.

My heart almost broke then.

Looking down on her.

Wanting to kiss and touch away everything that went wrong.

Knowing that in the light of day.

We would have to face each other again.

That time had come.

She was awake and wanting to say something.

But stopped before she spoke.

As if she was unveiling this big secret.

At last I turned to her.

Looking into her eyes.

Taking a breath. Trying to not take her in.

Her beauty and softness.

The warm touch of her hand on my face.

Still lingering.

As she looked down then back at me.

The silence in the room.

Making the reality of the events.

Of the prior night, clear as ever before.

"Blair last night."

I pause trying to think of how to phrase my words.

"Should not of happened."

"I was emotional and hurting."

"And you are fresh out prison and lost."

"You and I are divorced."

"The fact that we ended up back in this bed."

"Is probably breaking some code or something."

I said shaking my head.

Smiling as she looked at me.

"There are no rules to divorce."

"And you haven't told me."

"You don't want me."

"And that you didn't enjoy our night together."

"That you wish I wasn't here."

"Tell me you hate me."

"You regret every single second."

"That you would take it all back."

She says staring at me.

"I can't do that."

"Because I don't."

I said looking back at her.

Unsure of what that meant.

And where it would lead.

…


	33. Chapter 33

Love. Left. Behind.

Chapter 33

" _Ends are not bad things, they just mean that something else is about to begin. And there are many things that don't really end, anyway, they just begin again in a new way. Ends are not bad and many ends aren't really an ending; some things are never-ending."_

Weeks later

After days of constant searching. We have found our dream home.

4 bedrooms. 4 bathrooms. Dark wood floors. A nice basement.

The neighborhood is full of a variety of people. Extremely welcoming and friendly.

We're in close proximity of the school in town and walking distance to the events in town.

Suzie is very excited about the move.

We told her as much about the town and what it has to offer.

And now she is completely sold on it.

But told us she has to come back and visit.

We reassured her. That we will visit as much as possible.

We're having a dinner. Later on today. To say goodbye.

It is surreal to be leaving.

But It's nice to think that we'll have a new start.

With everything going on.

I just hope Chuck comes to the dinner.

I would be heartbroken if we didn't get to say goodbye.

"Nate I thought we packed everything."

I say.

Walking over to him. Smiling.

"We did I just ran across this picture of the three of us."

He said. Showing it me.

It was me, him, and Chuck. Making silly faces at the camera.

With my arms around the both of them.

"That is definitely going with us."

I said. Walking over to the last box I saw.

And starting to pick it up.

As he stopped me.

"None of that."

He said.

Taking it from me. While he took it out to the truck.

"Nate I am perfectly capable of carrying heavy boxes."

I said.

Smiling. Facing him as he came back inside.

"I know but I just want to make sure you are as careful as possible."

He said.

Smiling back at me.

"Mommy and daddy no kissing in the kitchen."

"We eat here."

Suzie says in a surprised tone.

As she walked inside.

Smiling at each other.

As they joined hands.

Walking over to the table.

"This looks amazing."

"The personal touches and everything else."

Nate said looking to me.

"Thanks I just wanted to make it as unique yet personal as I could."

The dinner is going to be starting and I'm so nervous.

I said.

Laying my head on his shoulder.

Hours later

Guests started coming in. Sitting down and making small talk.

Commenting on the decorations and Dancing to the music.

Until the table was full of faces. We loved and had made years of memories with. As we all ate and laughed.

Time went by Until it was time for dessert.

Which brought and made more fun memories.

Before we knew it. It was time leave.

Hugging as many people as we could.

Thanking them for their part in our lives.

Hugging Doretha tightly.

"Thank you."

"You've been a second mom to me."

I said.

Wiping my eyes.

"No tears miss Serena so much good is coming your way."

She said smiling as she joined hands with Henry.

Who just got out of an endless hug from Suzie.

Looking around the house one more time.

Taking a breath.

Looking to my side as Nate held my hand.

And Suzie looked at me smiling wide.

As they got into car.

Sighing tears welling up in my eyes.

Feeling a hand on my shoulder.

That turned me around.

"Chuck."

I said.

Wrapping my arms around him.

"I thought you wouldn't come."

I said.

With relief in my voice.

"I couldn't let you go without saying goodbye."

"And telling you truth."

He said.

"Blair is out of jail now."

"The news of that plus seeing her."

"Threw me for emotions had thought were gone."

He confessed.

"You saw her like she showed up at your house.?"

I asked curious.

"Yea and things go very complicated."

"But she's in the process of finding her own place."

"And trying to reconnect with Henry."

"All good things."

He says.

"And the two of you.?"

I ask curious.

"Parents and working on becoming friends."

"That is all either of us can handle."

"No giving on love."

I said smiling at him.

"Never."

"Just not making it a focus right now."

"Being a dad and work."

"And keeping in touch with you both is what I care about."

"Nate and I talked the other day.

"We're okay."

He said.

Smiling back at me.

"I'm going to miss you brother."

I said hugging him tightly.

"I'm going to miss you too Sis."

He said.

Hugging me back.

"By the way just so you know."

"When you do visit."

"Make sure you bring two gifts."

"One for Suzie and another one for the baby."

Serena said happily.

"Your pregnant!" He said excitedly.

"Yea we just found out."

"We're ecstatic."

"This kid is going to love its uncle Chuck."

"Just like Suzie does."

"Your friendship has meant everything to me."

I said.

Wiping my eyes.

"I love you sis."

"Enjoy your well-deserved happy ending.."

He said.

"I love you too brother."

"Thank you."

"I know you will get yours as well someday."

I say to him.

As the both of us.

Walk out together.

Watching as I get into car.

Nate and Suzie and I wave.

He waves back smiling.

As we drive away.

The sun setting in front of us.

 **Author's Note: Thank all of you so much.**

 **For the comments, ideas, suggestions. This story has become.**

 **One of my favorite stories I've ever written. Let me know your thoughts on the chapter and the story as a whole.**

 **Until next time goodbye.**

 **:}**


End file.
